Living in a world gone mad

For the moment, we’ll pretend that it hasn’t been over 7 months since I last wrote.  

Join the ranks of my parents, friends and earliest sweethearts to whom I have often provided the gift of opportunities for forgiveness.   Perhaps, in a later missive, I will explain myself.

For now… let us thank Donald Trump for motivating this current phillipic. 

 (we’ll wait while you google it…)  

Actually, I’m being somewhat misleading.  1.  This blog will not be particularly “fiery”.  

2.  There is NOTHING for which to thank Donald Trump.  

Ever. 

And Ever. (Amen).  

But he has got me thinking.  

What does one do when one discovers that he/she is living in a Reality Television show?  Because that’s how I feel as I watch the surrealist theatre and listen to the rhetoric of the Presidential Primaries in the U.S.    Can I simply swear at Gordon Ramsay and turn in my apron? Refuse to shower and get voted off Big Brother?  Is there any way that I can beg the Tribe to speak or simply dance away from the stars?

It seems not. 

This show will not turn off - like “Two Broke Girls” or “Saved by the Bell” no matter how poor the writing, acting or embarrassing the situations, it’s always on!

Living in a world where public figures re-write history on a whim (Donald Trump’s business acumen; Hillary Clinton’s lionizing of Nancy Reagan and her support for people with Aids; when Bewitched brought in a new Darren) I find myself wondering what to do when the nuts are in charge.  How does one live in the midst of evil, stupidity or just plain wrong-headedness?   I respect democracy and I have bought into the idea that the majority have the right to determine their shared future – but how does one live quietly in the midst of those who have been fooled or hoodwinked; lack the capacity or information to make an informed and just decision?  

Do I just grin and go along with it?

As teenagers, sitting in school cafeterias or basement recrooms we would often profess that, had we the ability to time travel, the first that thing that we would do is go back and assassinate Hitler before his rise to power.  We knew most assuredly that the best way to deal with evil was to kill it before it could spread.  However, with commitments to life, justice, the rule of law and the priority of democracy, I have to confess that I would be unlikely to assassinate anyone.  

(I had always believed that there we only two assassination attempts on Hitler, but having recently been informed that there were as many as 47, I’m beginning to wonder if some or my teen age friends haven’t figured out how to time travel and are simply bad a assassination) 

Of course, I could just bitch, moan and post constantly on Facebook how funny, stupid, useless or disappointing everything is.  But, much like my plans to assassinate Hitler, I would like leave my teenage attitudes and practices behind me.  

(Seriously… how ‘bout we give the new Prime Minister a little more than 6 months to fix everything that needs fixing and stop blaming him for looking good in a suit?)

So, what am I supposed to do?

I’ve ruled out assassination.

I’m trying to let go of whining.

I don’t want to live angry.

I’m not moving to Iceland.

French’s Ketchup aside, I’m not convinced that yelling and screaming at the Parliament Buildings, a Trump Rally or Loblaws is really going to affect much change in me or in the world.  But I can’t do nothing, can I?

This Sunday, the Sunday before Easter, most churches will be commemorating the Palm Sunday parade of Jesus.  And thinking about it, has inspired me and will help to inform how I will live in a Trump World… and you may live in a Trudeau world…. How we can live together in a world where we may not be entirely “at home” living with idiots. 

Historically, it is likely that Jesus' little parade happened on the day of or very close to the time of larger parades.  Parades that celebrated the Roman Empire; a least one parade that would have been notable for horses, chariots, loud noises, big crowds and raucous cheers in the name of Rome.  A reason for celebration, but also a reminder to the local folks as to who was in charge, and how they would deal with unrest and disobedience.  It’s all cheers and balloons, unless you step out of line and then these same horses, chariots and soldiers could be turned on you.  

Having been born and raised in Southern Ontario, I’ve never been to parade that frightened me or carried any undertones of violence in my mind – but go to the Airshow with some Refugees some time and you may see a very different reaction to the spectacle of military jets flying overhead in formation.

In the face of this militaristic, double speak world of violence and Empire, Jesus cannot remain silent.  However, he does not go to the parade and throw tomatoes… he does not scream “Fascist” and speculate as to the size of Pilate’s penis (thank you Republican Presidential hopefuls for raising the bar so high…)  He simply lives and presents an alternative.   He puts on another parade at the other end of the city… one with a donkey (or two) and people throwing clothes and waving palms.  There are no clowns, no banners,  no horses, no chariots or soldiers; there is no military or commercial might on display whatsoever.., instead, a parade of people cheering and crying out “Hosanna”.  An alternative to Empire; an appeal to God and peace, hope and love… a simple act that doesn’t dazzle or manipulate, but provides another way.  Kind of like the first the best of Pride Parades. 

images may appear whiter than likely... or even, possible.

I think that this will be my best way forward should I find myself a minority awash in a sea of idiots… or a morally responsible person in the midst of a world gone mad.  I will live and demonstrate an alternative to corrupt privilege of those who rule. I work diligently at loving the stranger, opening my hands and heart to those in need, I will seek peace rather than victory, I will pray rather than deride, I will keep doing what it right and trust God… and I will have a parade - many parades! I will make visible my choices, so that others may be inspired to come out of the shadows and live authentically, even if it is not endorsed by the majority;  I will live and parade in loving opposition to the “common sense” choices of the masses.   And maybe, just maybe… someone will recognize that “Hosanna” actually means “save us”… and our daring to hold true to what is just and loving will eventually be enough to change "common sense" and save us all.

Or we all move to Iceland. http://www.iceland.is/

Acting in the AFFIRMative

So, a little more than a week ago, Jubilee United Church became an Affirming Ministry.  

What that means is that we are intentionally welcoming and inclusive of all people, with an expressed welcome to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered (LGBT) people.  It turns out that we are the first church in North York to be officially “Affirming”.  I was a little surprised by that  (thought there would be more).  Since that day, I've been contacted by four other churches wondering how we did it and  if it was worthwhile.

Let me explain why we did it…

How we did it…

And why it took so long for us to do it…

First: Why.

Because it’s exactly what Jesus would have done.   Jesus regularly reached out beyond the centre, past where the majority sit in comfort, into the margins where people wondered if they actually were noticed by God.  He reached out to women in a culture that gave them no name and only shame in public.  He reached out to those who were grieving, when the rest of the world had nothing to say.  He reach out to Samaritans when proper first century Jews gave them disdain and a wide berth.  He spent time with despised tax collectors and disenfranchised widows; foreigners and prostitutes were his companions.    In the western world today, LGBT people are often found in the margins… left out of the centre… and a lot of young men and women, upon recognizing their own sexuality and discovering that their feelings and nature have left them out of the majority, wonder if God has left them out as well.  Just as Jesus did, we need to reach out and assure our brothers and sisters that they are loved, included, valued and needed. 

Some wondered if we weren't beyond being Affirming. After all, we have openly gay celebrities, self-identified LGBT people living in our communities, running businesses, George Takei is on Facebook and Twitter… we have an openly Lesbian Premier in Ontario and an openly Gay Moderator of the United Church.  Surely, there is no longer any need for us to make such a statement.

Did I mention that we are the first church in North York to become Affirming?
That means that no other church has made the explicit statement that we have made, even though the United Church of Canada declared that Sexuality was no barrier to being Ordained over 25 years ago… even though we have had same sex marriage in Ontario for a decade.  It is still politically beneficially for a Mayor of Toronto to be reluctant in supporting Pride Week.  Bullying and violence against LGBT teens is on the rise in 2013, not a thing of the past.    When the Defense of Marriage Act  was defeated in the U.S. last week (this act would have stopped individual States from recognizing same sex marriages), “Christian” commentators were invited on most networks to give the "Christian" perspective and it was almost unanimously AGAINST equal marriage rights for all people.    As I look around, I realize that our society is not BEYOND Affirming at all.  Children are being beat up… people in love are being refused their rights, even when it costs the rest of society nothing.   We need a few more rainbows around (rainbows being the symbol for Affirming and including, celebrating and welcoming the LGBT community).

So, how did we do it?

About two years ago, I asked about 20 people from the church to join me and talk about becoming an Affirming Ministry.   I invited some LGBT people in our congregation (please note: they are not a club, they are not a single entity… many of them disagree with each other, like each other, don’t like each other and have entirely different agendas from each other – just like everybody else!)  I invited some straight people (whatever term you choose… majority, people of privilege, breeders, neighbour, “I don’t know, maybe you”), some folks that I knew would be supportive, some folks that I suspected might find this challenging and some folks about whom I had on inside info or preconception.    We talked about the idea of Jubilee becoming Affirming.   We began to talk to others outside of the group (we met two or three times).  We wrote about becoming Affirming in the church bulletins, newsletters… we invited discussion and provided resources and reading material.  We let the word spread naturally.

Not a whole lot of formal “programming”.  It didn't seem like a campaign - nobody was "selling" anything. 

As word got around, I found myself visiting people’s homes and sitting down and talking. Actually, more than talking, I found myself listening.  I listened to concerns that we might become too much a “one note” church, only reaching out to the LGBT community and shunning others… I heard of fears that we would be over-run by new people who would change the way we do things…  I heard concerns that others might leave our church if we became Affirming (nobody suggested that they might leave, but they feared that others might)  I heard from only person that it was against God’s will that we accept LGBT people as they are, without condemning their “life style”.    

What I found is that many people were simply afraid of change.  

What I discovered is that many folk were so happy with the way things were at Jubilee, they didn’t want to risk any change.  

What I heard were a great many people who wanted to wonder about loud about the issue, but were afraid of being labeled “homophobic” or “backward”.  

In the meeting and talking, I found that most fears were relieved… without my having to do or prove a thing.  People got it… and embraced what we were trying to do, they just needed the chance to come to it themselves.

It was announced in advance that, at our Annual Meeting, we would vote on engaging with Affirm United to be designated an Affirming Ministry.  I presented the question with three options:  

YES, being the Process.  

WAIT, we need more time.  

NO, do not proceed with becoming an Affirming Ministry.  

Before the vote, a member of the congregation, who is lesbian, spoke of a woman who became accepting toward the end of her life and her only regret was the time that was lost before she has understood.  Our friend then invited the congregation to vote with their hearts and to not vote out of fear. “If you vote to not proceed… don’t worry, we won’t storm out… we won’t leave you”.

Best. Words. Ever!

The congregation voted 91% to engage.  The other 9% voted to wait a little longer. Nobody voted “No”.

I cried all the way home.

I didn't cry because I’m gay and found it a victory.  I’m not… and it wasn't a victory.  A victory means that there are vanquished:  Someone is defeated.  Nobody lost with this decision.  What I found so gratifying is that the community that I help to lead and love so dearly, chose welcome and risk over comfort and complacency.   We were happy and satisfied just the way we were… we have just come off of our first balanced budget… we were showing growth.  Whenever you decide to begin a new ministry or clarify/specify your identity you risk upsetting the status quo.   We decided to risk upsetting the status quo… just like Jesus.  We decided that welcoming others was more important that our comfort and satisfaction.  That’s why I cried..  For the moment of the vote, at least, we got it.

   (by the way, we continue to get it...)

So, why did it take SO long?  

Two years is a long time to do what it right.   We could have met the requirements and followed the guidelines presented by Affirm United in a few short months. 

I have friends who feel that the United Church of Canada should simply legislate “Affirming Ministries” and make our churches comply, after all it is a matter of Justice and the right thing to do. 

I sympathize.
However, I also recognize that it is challenging for many people in the majority community.  And we bear some responsibility for that… and to them.  For centuries (even millennia) we have spoken with authority and told people that homosexuality is offensive to God.  We have endorsed a heterosexual culture as the only one acceptable to God, without any regard for those who are homosexual, bisexual, asexual  or transsexual.   We have endorsed a literal prescriptive reading of the Bible that has not encouraged engagement with the text, challenging of ideas or faithful struggling with context and interpretation.  We have often provided, or left unchallenged, a very lazy faith that sees the Bible as a dictionary that provides simple definitions of right, wrong; in and out.

That wasn't some other church doing that… that was our church.  The one that has existed for 2000 years and continues to struggle in its witness to God’s Love and the Ministry of Jesus Christ.   We shared in the abuses as well as the fruits of that church and we can't just turn our backs and say "Not Us".  

We have failed to stand up when others were marginalized or when privilege was protected instead of challenged in our faith communities.   And so, when members of our community are baffled by these “new” insights, we owe them some patience, time and compassion as they discover for themselves, the grace and love that we have found.

I’m not saying that Justice should be delayed… but as the church moves toward justice, it need to give people ample opportunity to catch up and share in the ministry.

And that’s why we took 2 years. 

That, and that fact that I misread a couple of the requirements set forth by Affirm United, but we can talk about that another day. 

For now, allow us to celebrate the moment… and help us to imagine how we are going to live out this ministry in our community as the future unfolds.

In closing allow me to share with you this picture of a great many of our congregation - dressed as a rainbow - on the day that we become officially Affirming. 

And, allow me to recommend the wonderful people, and resources at Affirm United

http://www.affirmunited.ca/

Hard to Belieb

I was about to post this when the bombs at the Boston Marathon went off… It seemed to flip to publish that day.  However, it is still rattling around in my brain and on my hard-drive, so here it is:

It’s everywhere…

   I posted it on Facebook (so you know that it must be news)…

      Justin Bieber said something really stupid.

Shocking, I know.

Stephen Harper was secretive

Thomas Mulcair was confrontational

Justin Trudeau was really pretty

(more things that you just didn’t see coming…)*

So, the young Mr. Bieber visited the Anne Frank Museum for a private tour.  At the end of the tour he was invited to write in the guest book and wrote the following:  “Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber."

Really?

Now, you might defend the statement by thinking that it was great that Justin was able to recognize Anne Frank as a little girl; a child who had dolls and toys and should have grown up to giggle about love and go on a date.  Justin’s ability to see her as “girl” and not just as a tragic icon reminds of the horrific loss to all of humanity: millions upon millions of little boys, girls, men and woman who were exactly like you and me lost to mass murder.

But, it still came off as flippant -  as if our Pop Star believed that if not for the genocide, she would have been so into his crazy dance beats.  How unlucky for them both.

It bothers many of us, that in face of the atrocities of the Nazi regime, Justin is still thinking about his music; his celebrity: Himself.

But should we be surprised?

No doubt, he is surrounded by all manner of “handlers” and assistants… people to fetch his water, make his breakfast, plan his day, fix his hair, keeps annoying strangers away, tell him how wonderful he is, keep his secrets and basically cater to his whims… For all intents and purposes, the world that Justin Beiber lives in IS all about him.

AND he’s not alone.

The M.S. St. Louis with 937 Jewish Refugees was not allowed to land in Canada in 1939… We didn't want them.

After two months and 1600 kms, a group of Cree youth were not greeted by our Prime Minister, because he was having his picture taken with Pandas in Toronto (a much better photo-op).

My cat comes calling at 6am each morning, and if I pretend to be asleep, she will wake my wife -  who can then get up and feed the cat, leaving me to luxuriate in my own bed.

To varying degrees, it always seems “to be about me”.  (or us… or him…  them… you know what I mean)

Our society certainly supports and promotes this attitude, as advertisements arrived through the mail, television and social media telling me that “I’m the one”… “I deserve this”…  “My future is important.”…   Facebook even tailors ads directly to me based on my history of “Liking” and commenting.  (still not sure why I’m getting so many ads for Lipitor and Cialis… what did I say? And to whom??)  In a Facebook and Twitter world it is all about me.

However, before I lay it all on the shoulders of Social Media and Coercive Capitalism, I think that religion deserves a poke, too.  I will speak only for my faith tradition, but feel free to adapt to be critical of your own.  In Christianity we have put quite a premium on and have a long history of emphasizing personal salvation.

Have YOU been saved?

Are YOU born again?

Is Jesus in YOUR heart?  

             (and he walks with me and he talks with me... and he tells me I am his own...)

Why weren't YOU in church last week?

I enjoy the looked of confusion when people apologize to me for not having been in church for the past few weeks and I reply, “I’m not really one to judge, after all, I’m paid to be here… “  But they have a serious sense of obligation; that somehow it is their job to get their bodies into a place of worship every week.

I can do whatever I pleases,

‘cause I’ve got my plastic Jesus,

on the dashboard of my car…           

  (here ends the sing-a-long portion of this blog)

It really is all about us.

I was asked recently by a very intelligent, committed individual as to the purpose of church.  She said, “If we’re all love by God – and I do believe that – than what’s the point in going?  To be reminded that we are loved?”

I offered that hearing and being assured that we are loved is important… we wouldn't let our children grow up without being told frequently how much we love them.  I added, however we can further mine this parent/child God/humanity metaphor when we consider the way that we love our children.  We want what’s best for them, we want them to make good choices, we want to offer our insight and experience as they decide… we hurt for them, we get upset with them and we sometimes hold their hands through hard times… so on-going church experience can mirror that.  The give and take of relationship… the sharing of love, more than just a statement of fact or condition: YOU ARE LOVED.

But, more than that, I added… we also go to church to be reminded that it’s not all about us.  We aren't just in this world to be personally comforted and saved.  We are in this world to be free… free for the other.  We are in this world to announce, promote and be the Kingdom of God: A way of being that is not coercive or violent, but just and loving.  Justice and Love are abstract notions until they are enacted; lived out by people.  People like us… and church equips us to be loving and just.  It challenges us to make a difference in the world.  It picks us up when we fall, encourages us when we doubt… it opens our hearts and minds, so that we can love one another, fully and completely.   Church exists to celebrate that it is NOT all about us…  And if we could really embrace that, truly live such an attitude and perspective, we might soon discover that hunger is not impossible to eradicate,

Violence need not be prevalent

Justice can be real

Passion and commitment can be honoured

Photo Ops can wait.

Refugees can be welcomed and embraced.

I can get up and feed the blessed cat

And Justin Beiber can visit the Anne Frank Museum and be left speechless.

At least that's what I believe (of course, it's not all about me)

*With apologies for foolish exaggerations and caricatures … I know that Prime minister Harper is not just secretive, Mr. Mulcair can be more then confrontation… Mr. Trudeau is not THAT pretty.