Filled with Pride - but keeping my mouth shut (almost)

I do this with great trepidation.

What have I to say about World Pride?

I have a great many friends who are included, engage and active in the LGBTTTQQ2SA * community - I belong there as well, but I belong from a place of comfortable privilege.  Sometimes the best thing that one can do from a position of privilege is to "shut up".  Not that one doesn't have insight or opinion; not that privilege has blinded one to reality, but speaking from a place of privilege can simply clutter the air and suppress the voices that need to be heard. 

So, perhaps I should say nothing. 

I have never had my life; my very self, questioned, oppressed or excluded.  When hurtful words have been hurled at me, I have had the option and privilege of yelling back, "Am Not!" without feeling a stab of betrayal; a death of self.  I have no idea what it is like to be marginalized in the ways that my brothers and sisters have, as we grew up together yet apart.

So, maybe I should just shut up and let others speak.

If you're listening to me, you might be missing the man or woman who wants to dance and celebrate who he/she is, maybe for the first time publicly... or hold the hand of another without fear... or quietly know that there is nothing "wrong" with being who you are...

You might miss the expressions of love that are so profound that they leave you speechless... and not just romantic love, but love of life and being part of the glory of Creation... expressions that may not have occurred to you as you live your life authentically.  Look around and see the love - don't waste time listening to m, instead hear the stories of struggle, hope, triumph now and triumph yet to come... be engaged with all of humanity, especially those who have come to bring life and light to our city with the gift of World Pride.

Don't listen to me.

Instead, hounor the journey that our whole community has shared since the Gay Day Picnic at Hanlon's Point in 1971 - a journey of Human Rights that step by step has affirmed ALL People's rights to emigration and immigration (homosexual immigration was illegal in Canada until 1978); equal protection and equal benefit of the law (sexual orientation was not included in the Charter of Rights until 1986); freedom "within" religion (the United Church of Canada first allowed the Ordination of openly gay and lesbian ministers in 1986... many other Denominations and Faiths  are still challenged); the right to serve in the military (1992); the right to marry the person that you love (Ontario, 2003; Canada, 2005), the simple right to be respected and protected as you are (Charter of Rights amended 1996).  Realize that each of these steps has come as a result of great effort, love and sacrifice by many people - some know, most anonymous... honour the journey and mabye become part of the next step... 'cause we ain't done. 

If you're readying my blog or listening to me, you might miss out on the stories of celebration that come from this wide and diverse community.  The insights, wisdom, public policy, art, philosophy, music, humour, writing, intellect and love... that have been anything but self-serving but rather a gift to the whole world. 

For too long, people of privilege have recognized and then co-opted the voices of the marginalized - patting ourselves on the back for raising awareness, and completely unaware that we are pushing the marginalized away from the microphones, out of the spot lights and into the shadows.  Seriously, why would you want to hear me talk about Susan Gapka, Brent Hawkes, Kamal Al-Solaylee, Gary Paterson or a million others, when you can hear them for yourself?  They don't need need me to speak for them, they need me to shut up so that they can tell the stories; share the wisdom, insight and love authentically without notes. 

So... why am I writing this blog?

Because i was asked to...  challenged, actually.

(I am such a sucker for peer pressure... it's a wonder that I didn't smoke two packs of cigarettes a day and jump of bridges constantly when I was 10 -  I guess that no one double-dared me)

I am pretty sure that my challenger will find this blog lacking... but I will count on his grace and forgiveness. 

Why am I blogging?

Because of the Kingdom of God.

Because of the interconnectedness of all Creation. 

I know that Creation sounds very anti-science.  It's not.  However we have come to be, referring to "Creation" is a recognition that we are all connected; that we are continuing to evolve together into a more beautiful complex reality.  We are often evolving in spite of ourselves, kicking and screaming the whole way, but we are also often evolving joyously moving with and to the rhythm of all that surrounds us.... kind of like a great parade.

The Kingdom of God sounds very patriarchal; after all it is run by a King.  It sounds very Imperial and has been used as an excuse to topple one empire so that another could take its place, all in the name of God.  I believe that Jesus had something better in mind when he told us that the the Kingdom was a hand.  The Kingdom of God is present when we recognize each other lovingly, graciously and compassionately as brothers and sisters: One family.  The image was provided as a rebuke or alternative to the Kingdoms that fed only the rich and protected only the powerful, edifying class and privilege as the status quo. Jesus was inviting us to dream bigger and live beyond what the government of the day was offering:  A time when we are lovingly one.

So, with respect and a sense of responsibility to Creation and the Kingdom of God, I speak out on the occasion of World Pride 2014, not to hog the mic... but to add my voice in harmony to the songs being sung.  I speak up so that I am NOT withdrawing from the beauty and love that is being revealed all around me at World Pride, but participating.  I speak up in thanksgiving for our ever-evolving diversity (Creation continues, yeah!!), believing that it is always best to start with love and let the understanding grow from there.
I speak up simply to say "I love you, too" to whomsoever may be listening. 

Deep down, I think that all human beings simply want to "belong" - to community, to family, to God, to Creation... by speaking, I am saying that "you" belong and "we" belong together:  One amazing family. 

But enough from me... listen to my brothers and sisters.  I am proud of them all. 

*LGBTTQQ2SA  is an abbreviation used to represent a broad array of identities such as, but not limited to, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer, questioning, two-spirited, and allies.   It should also be noted that this year's Pride Parade will include Asexuals as well. 

So, now that we've voted...

So, my dear friends,

It is done.  

The (chose one:  Evil One, Hero, Meh) has triumphed and the pollsters were wrong.  There will be much hand-wringing and tea leaf reading in the backrooms of our political parties in the coming days, but by and large, it’s done.

We have had an election and a great many of us are, no doubt, patting ourselves on the back for having done our civic duty; lived up to our responsibility, honoured our ancestors and voted.

And now, we will watch how things unfold and get ready to start complaining about broken promises; how politicians can’t be trusted and our profound need  for SOMETHING for which to vote.

As if that is the sum and total of our civic responsibility; our political debt.  

We vote. 

It takes about 4 minutes and involves being told what to do and where to put things.  

Kind of like becoming a father.

However…like fatherhood, our responsibility does not end at conception*.  Our ancestors did not fight, struggle and die so that we might have the right to ONLY vote, they endured and overcame so that we might have the right and responsibility to be heard; to affect change; to serve.  Yesterday we gave these people a mandate, so the real question is “What are you prepared to do?”  (yes, that is cinematic allusion to The Untouchables). 

Will you write to the person that you just sent to Queen’s Park?

Often?

Will you check in and follow what he or she is doing? 

Will you bring your concerns to her/his attention? 

Will you take the time to encourage your elected member of Provincial Parliament to hold fast to her/his ideals and integrity; to keep “fighting the good fight”  even when it seems like victory can never come? 

We need to parent our politicians: Keep in touch; give them support; expect much of them and give them the understanding and resources that they need to serve well. 

Call your MPP and explain,  “I’m giving a report to the people of my Local Action Committee and I’m wondering what the government is doing about poverty and what can we do to get involved at the local level?”

Write a letter thanking your MPP for supporting a bill that keeps class sizes small, or let him/her know that class size is NOT your top priority, but assistance in the classroom is. 

Request, “ Our local Hockey Association is having a banquet and we thought we could share some of the things that the Government is doing for our kids and their safety in sports… could you give us some information?”

Send off an email, letting your MPP know that Transportation Infrastructure will always be an election issue for you and then let her/him know what you think.

Ask, “I’m giving a report out our church next Sunday and we’re curious about new initiatives to support  the LGBTQ community… “

If you have an interest or a concern, share it with your MPP, and expect a response.  It may not be the response that you expect, but it can open a dialogue and begin to affect change.  It can also assure our elected officials that the electorate cares, continues to be engaged and is prepared to support people of integrity and vision.  Nothing corrupts integrity or clouds vision as quickly as reasonable people turning the channel. 

If you are so inclined, why not consider running for office?

Will you get involved in political party,  pay your dues and demand to be heard? Do the work and slowly, but surely, find yourself in a position to affect policy?  Get frustrated, run screaming out of meetings, and affect change?  (Maybe we should serve decaf coffee at our meetings, after all... sure don't want Seli yelling and screaming like that again)

Our civic duty did not end yesterday.  It never ends, as long as we desire to live in civilization…  and I remain hopeful that one day, soon, we will live in a civilization.

*if you came down here expecting diagrams or explicit instructions, my apologies.  I just wanted to take a moment to wish all the fathers reading this, “Happy Father’s Day”… and  thanks for doing more than just voting. 

I am going to vote.

I am going to vote.

Let me begin by saying, I’m not happy with the choices that I am begin offered in this Ontario Provincial Election.  (feel free to substitute "not happy" with "Frustrated" "Furious" "Fed Up" "Foaming at the Mouth" or any other appropriate "F" word)

Let me also acknowledge that I have a number of friends who may “decline” to vote.  Some will do so by presenting themselves at the polling station and declining (an official act and “vote”) and others will simply not turn up.  At least one person who will be declining has put more hours and effort into political and community work than I can imagine – far more than I have ever dedicated.   I respect and sympathize with him and with those who will not vote.

But I will vote.

I am angry at the corruption, arrogance and stupidity evident in all three of the “major” parties.  I wish for a time when parties did not simply do what they needed to do to be elected, but actually stood for principals and platforms, giving people the opportunity to choose.   Currently, voting is much the same as cheering for a favourite sports team:  they all play pretty much the same game, we just want our hands on the trophy that we might declare ourselves “winners” in the moment, with little regard to how this elected government may shape the future and support the people.

But I will vote.

I tire of the endless “conspiracy” theories that try to depict leaders as evil geniuses (geniuii?) set on destroying all that is good and pure.  Contrary to political rhetoric, neither Goldfinger nor Valdemort are running for office.  I don’t care from which secret cabal came this or that party’s platform – I want to talk about the platform.  Yes, I do think that our leaders should be sober and responsible citizens, but other than that, I don’t care about their personal lives.   I weary of this type of electioneering.

But I will vote.

I will vote because when “reasonable” folks like us don’t show up to vote, the zealots win and take power.  The National Front in France, Jobbik Party in Hungary, Golden Dawn in Greece, the Tea Party in the U.S. and some choices here in Canada scare the hell out of me.  (I decline to name the ones in Canada, so as not to alienate any of my friends… at least those also in rehab).  These parties prey on the most base fears of the populace and bully those who present compassion as a virtue and policy – after all, compassion costs money and we’re tired of wasting money on “those” undeserving people!  The only way to defeat these people, is to vote for an alternative and deny them the power of making decisions for the whole community.   I am afraid that declining doesn't get that done.

So, I will vote.

As powerless as I often feel when it comes to politics (i.e. my voice is not heard; my vote doesn't matter), I notice in today’s paper that one of the leaders has just flip-flopped on policy.  I won’t say which leader, but he  (oops) has apparently changed his mind on LRT in Ottawa.   Why did he do that?  Somehow, the voices of individuals have risen to the point that he knows that he has to change his plans to garner their votes… and he needs their votes.  With every flip-flop and policy contradiction, I recognize that the electorate does have power.  It’s not as direct or as immediate as we would like, but there is power, otherwise the politicians wouldn't bother even lying to us.  So, we need to be increasing skeptical, even as we try to avoid being cynical.  Push for the truth – don’t just give up.  Flip-Flops happened for a reason.

So, I will vote.

I am trying to take an evolutionary view of politics.  Although I believe in the “Big Bang”, I am more acquainted by experience with evolution:  Slow.  Not always predictable.  Before we run, we walk; before we walk, we crawl… before we crawl, we need to pull ourselves out of the slime.  That may be where we are now, trying to pull ourselves out of the slime of many of our current politicians and I may not get to see the responsible compassionate government that I pray for, any time soon…. But if I give up; if we give up, then we stay in the slime and never walk. 

So, I will vote.

I am tired of the personal attacks.  The sleazy, outrageous lies told to discredit leaders and candidates.  However, I am reminded that Thomas Jefferson’s supporters accused President John Adams of being a hermaphrodite with "neither the force and firmness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman." Do, I need to talk about how remarkably offensive that is on so many levels?

In 1876, Democrats accused Republican candidate Rutherford B. Hayes of shooting his own mother, and stealing the pay of dead soldiers while he was a general.  

It does not take much of a memory or imagination to recall the things said about John A. MacDonald, Nellie McClung, Tommy Douglas, Barbara Hanley, Daurene Lewis, Gladys Grace May Strum,  Pierre Eliot Trudeau, Joe Clark, Mobina Jaffer… most of which were entirely baseless and cruel, having little to do with policies or future, but simply a desire to defeat a foe and win an election.   But from those horrible times, Canada becomes an independent nation, a Charter of Rights is established, Compassionate Programmes becomes National Institutions, and much of what we value and cherish today comes into being.   The personal attacks continue to disappoint me, but they will not stop me.  (btw, if you don’t recognize some the above names, look them up… it’s worth the time)

So, I will vote.

As for corruption, at the risk of depressing you, dear reader (or sounding like a keener OAC student ready for a final Canadian History exam),  let me remind you of the Pacific Scandal in 1870,  the Great Waterways Railway Scandal or 1910, Ontario Bond Scandal of the 1920s, the ever-popular  King-Byng Scandal in 1926, the Duplessis Orphans, Tunagate… and dare I mention, Patti Starr?   Corruption is not new.  It should not be tolerated or simply excused as the "Way of the world", but it should also not be enough to make us disengage.  

I know more than a few candidates who are bright, committed and compassionate, only wanting to serve the people of their communities.  It often seems that after being elected, the bullying and corruption of our system leads the to abandon principles and give up on ideals – “It’s just the way things are done” they are told…  That’s why our politicians need our attention and support AFTER they are elected, not just when they are running.  So that they know that they are not alone when they in the long halls and dark offices where ideals go to die… they need to know that it matters to the electorate that they remain people of integrity and compassion.

So, I will vote... and try not to disappear off the radar the day after the results are in.

Finally, I will vote because I can.  I am humbled when I see men and women risking their lives to vote for the first time.  I simply cannot look at the women in Afghanistan baring their inked forefingers to declare that they have decided to make their voices heard, their hopes and dreams available to the community and their love active… and decline my vote as if it were not something worth doing.

I want better…

I deserve better…

But, I will vote, at least until it gets better.

Doug cried.

So, it's been a very long time (over 4 months) since I've written.
I hope that you're well.
Find work?
Look at you - you've lost weight... love your hair.
The blackout/ice storm sucked, eh?
Did you have a good New Years?
Valentine's Day all that you had hoped for?
How 'bout them Raptors!

I've been busy with life... lots of life - commitments, responsibilities and changes... more about those in later blogs- the reason for my coming out of hiding, is that I need to respond to a few words by Rex Murphy.
You can find these words on Youtube   http://youtu.be/2t6KvIpyWAk
In the editorial, Rex Murphy has some rather pointed words about Rob Ford, as so many do these days.   After reciting the long list of perceived offences, Rex suggests that the worst of it has been that Rob has made his brother Doug cry.

I’m sorry, Rex wants me to feel sorry for Doug Ford?

Rob made him cry?

He’s been nothing but a loyal brother standing up for his embattled brother?

Excuse me – but Doug Ford was an elected member of City Council and assumed a responsibility to the people of Toronto and his riding.    I’ll have no tears for Doug.

Rob Ford would appear to be an addict, full of shallow bile and ignorance -  a man incapable of taking care of himself in public or in private.- in short, a pathetic figure. 

But somebody has helped him hobble along to where he is today.  

It sure wasn't me.

Somebody has made it possible for Rob to NOT take responsibility for his actions; somebody has exaggerated the attacks on poor Rob and tried to cast him as victim rather than criminal.

And that somebody is NOT an addict.  

That somebody has assured the public many, many times that he’s never seen Rob take drugs, hasn't seen Rob drunk in years, hasn't seen Rob drink… has assured us again and again that Rob is fine and in control, if only the media would stop picking on him.  That same somebody has routinely lied to us all and vouched for, not only his brother, but his menagerie of odious companions - reminding us that Rob is a man of the people and just being loyal to good people.    

And that somebody is Doug Ford.

I will not shed a tear for Doug.  Doug has lied to me far too many times.  Doug has supported Rob in a reckless irresponsible manner… Doug has been as big a bully as Rob… and he has no addiction to blame for such disgusting and duplicitous behaviour.

Rob made Doug cry? 

Good.  It's about time that somebody did. 

Taking sides in the War on Christmas!!

I've always loved the "War of the Roses"... it always sounded so floral... and it must have smelled great!

I loved the "War of the Worlds", the Mercury Theatre featuring Orson Wells... awesome!

I've marveled at the  "War on Drugs" for as long as I can remember - criminalizing Marijuana while the LCBO promotes Alcohol consumption as a viable and attractive "Life Style".  

And of course, there’s a war on Christmas.

Not on Christmas Cake - which would make sense - but actually on Christmas.

I’ve heard about it on TV.

I’ve read about in the newspapers.

I’ve heard people muttering about it as they walk out of shops where clerks have responded to “Merry Christmas” with “Happy Holidays”

For goodness sake, it’s Merry Christmas… this is Canada you know!

I’ve not really given it much thought over the past few years… since the war was declared.

It doesn’t feel like a real war to me. There are enough real wars around for me to know the difference.

There are enough problems in this world that need my attention more urgently than a “war” of Christmas…

Nobody is taking my faith away by insisting on Seasonal or Holiday Concerts at the school.  Frankly, I think it’s a bigger concern that most schools no longer have full music programs. (Perhaps a casualty of the "War on Drugs" - after all you know what musicians are like... and who knows what was happening to all those Tuba Mouthpieces.)

However… as I am wont to do… I’ve changed my mind.  (so proud that I have one to change).

It might be a sign of my age.

BUT I am now taking sides in the war on Christmas.

I will no longer sit idly by as people choose to say “Happy Holidays” over “Merry Christmas”

I will not grin and bear it…

I will insist on it!

Seriously… I much prefer Happy Holidays… in fact, anything that includes the word Holiday… over Christmas.

Because, at least Holiday… comes from “Holy” day.

A day that is Holy.

What does it mean when something is holy?

It is sacred… or connected to the Divine… to God.  When you make something holy or sacred, you connect it to God.   Happy Holidays:  “May you have a time when you are connected to the Divine”

I’ll take that.

I’ll take that over “Merry Christmas” anytime… 

Not because of an inferior etymology, but because we have come put such an emphasis on “Merry” over Christmas and Christmas has become defined as a time of gift giving.   What we mean when we say “Merry Christmas” is “I hope that you get really good gifts and that the gifts that you give are well received…  or at least easily returned.”

I suppose that there is nothing wrong with that in and of itself… gifts, I mean.  I like gifts (you don’t have to be shy about giving them to me… I receive them shamelessly.)   Gifts are great…  We’ve come to refer to Jesus as God’s gift to us… the most important of all the Christmas Gifts…  you see, it is hard to separate the idea of Christmas from gift giving.  Just as it’s hard for us to separate Hallowe’en from Trick or Treating, Valentine’s Day from Chocolate or Election Day from wailing and the gnashing of teeth. 

Merry Gift Giving.

It’s nice… but is it enough?

Christians in Syria… in Egpyt… people who have recently experience death in their family…. do you think that “Merry Christmas” is going to cut it this year?  Is there a gift that anyone can give that will make them Merry?

Is making Merry, really the goal of Christmas?

‘Cause if it is… I’m afraid that we’re going to leave a lot of people out.  For a lot of folks, for whom Merry is simply not on the agenda.

Merry… it is such a nice word. It’s so… well, Merry.  It speaks of a condition that is joyous and care-free…  but that’s not a realistic expectation for many at this time of year - should we leave them out?

The first Christmas without that person who brought colour and shape to your life… hard to find Merry.

The Christmas where you toss and turn at night not sure how you’re going to cover the bills and wondering  if the new year will provide work enough to get through till next December… hard to be care free.

The Christmas that you know is going to be your last.

The first Christmas surrounded by “old people” and the occasional family visit… Merry?

Christmas on the other side of the world… staying in touch by skype… it feels so different and so “alone”… Care free? Merry?

Those Christmas’s are all around us.  There are lots of us who will engage and participate in Christmas, but Merry is not going to happen.  Because there aren’t gifts enough in the world to get us there.

AND there are those who, knowing that there aren’t gifts enough in the world to get to Merry Christmas… will simply not engage or participate… because it just deepens the isolation and highlights the hurt.

 (WOW, that was cheery!)

But there is more to Christmas.

There is that part that we call “Holy".

Holy is when God is present… through our reaching out to the Divine or the Divine reaching out to us… Holy is a time or place where humanity and the other… the Divine… God… co-mingle.

And isn’t that what we have said for centuries about Jesus?   That he is fully divine and also fully human… a contradiction, to be sure, but also a mystical description of “Holy”.

Our Christmas Story assures us that Holy is not a condition reserved for great temples or rarified places… a stable is as holy as the Vatican… shepherds are as close to God as the highest of high priests…God is as present in a barn as a marble sanctuary…as present with those away from home, as those who are home…  as present among the poor as the rich… as present with those that society would shame as with those that society would idolize… as present in the face of tragedy and death as in an oasis of peace and joy.

Remember, in our story Mary is unmarried and pregnant…away from home;  they have no place to stay… those who recognize the presence of God in their child are shepherds and foreigners… this presence of God is revealed in a time of political oppression and the violent deaths of children..   In all of that – God is still present.  

You may not be merry any time soon… but you may smile… and you may have peace.  That is the message of Christmas, far beyond “Merry”.

You may find yourself without a mountain of presents… or even enough food… but together we can and will create a time when there is food on your table.  That is the promise of Christmas, far beyond “Merry”.

You may find yourself missing a part of yourself in an absent loved one… but you are not alone.

You may find yourself struggling with darkness… but there is light.

Because God is present… in all aspects of our lives… not just the “Merry” times…

None of us excluded from this love that teaches us to look beyond “Merry Christmas” to a “Holy Day” or even “Holy” Days, that can lead to a sense of God’s presence every day,  because if it can happen in a manger in Bethlehem 2000 years ago, it can happen in your life today.  That’s Christmas… with all due respect to Santa and our decorations… there is so much more.

So, if I may combine  Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays…   

(Peaceable Compromise IS my middle name) 

  allow me to wish you a “Holy Christmas” this year… and may every day be a Holy day for you… a day when you are keenly aware that nothing separates you from the presence and the love of the Holy Other, whatever name or experience you may most cherish.

Holy Christmas!   

My thoughts on Nelson Mandela (surely nobody else has thought to blog about him...)

Nelson Mandela, Great Man of History!

Let me be the first to offer this seasonal rejoinder:  Bah, Humbug!

Now, before you start sending me nasty emails or search for my home on Google Maps, allow me to explain:

I've read the glowing obituaries and the tributes from leaders all over the world.  I've seen the pictures of politicians sporting great big “Awesome Road Trip” grins as they jet their way to a continent they routinely ignore in an effort to be on the right side of history.  I apologize for sounding so cynical, but it seems to me that for many of the visiting dignitaries, the best thing about Nelson Mandela’s funeral is that it means that he’s dead.  It’s a great photo op (President Obama was even photographed taking a selfie at the gathering).   It is so much nicer to be able to visit Nelson Mandela when he’s achieved “Obi Wan Kenobi” status in death; when he can no longer challenge or question your leadership or commitment to a better world for ALL people.

In death, Mr. Mandela doesn't get to look at us or our leaders and ask about our relationship to  First Peoples in Canada, or about Economic, Ideological or Racial tension in America, China isn't questioned, Israel and Palestine, Syria and Egypt can be left out of discussion, while we bask in the sentimental glow of a great man… nobody has to engage with this great man of history and confront the realities of poverty and the Apartheid that it creates in our communities.  It is  much easier to celebrate “the last great liberator of the 20^th century” (to quote Barak Obama), then to wonder about the liberty of our own people.

Praise for Nelson Mandela has been unanimous and he has been called a “Great Man of History”.  I never met the man, I can’t pretend to know his mind, but I suspect that Nelson Mandela never wanted to be a “Great Man of History” – I believe that he wanted to change the world, whether people credited him or not; he wanted to help move his part of the world toward justice and compassion and away from Apartheid, both racial and economic.

American President Barak Obama commented that Nelson Mandela “… makes me want to be a better man.” (quoting Jack Nicholson from As Good as It Gets, perhaps?).  Respectfully, Mr. President, I don’t think that he gives a damn what kind of man you decide to be, I think that he was much more concerned about the quality of life of the people that you serve, and what you are doing to improve their lives.  .  Mr. Mandela was, in so many things a gracious man, so he would have likely received the adulation of the world with a wide smile… but deep inside, I think that he would have been saying “Bah, Humbug”.  (except for the Barak Obama shaking hands with Raul Castro - he would have loved that.  But, I'll bet that many American pundits will be griping about the "grip") 

What this “Great Man of History” would have desired is that we put history in a book and instead focus our energies  on the present.  Rather than honouring Mandela’s death, perhaps we might make the world a better place by emulating his life:  Enduring injustice with strength and grace, never letting go of hope, embracing power with humility and letting go of the need for vengeance, working alongside former enemies with compassion while maintaining integrity and sense of purpose, desiring to make the world a better place for those who are always last in line, last to be called and first to be taxed.  Items not prominently on the agenda of many of the world leaders who made their way to Soweto.      

  

A fitting tribute for this man who changed the world would be for all of us to work toward justice, even when it costs us; to live more compassionately, even with those we call "enemies" and to dare to hope, even when the world tells us to give up.

Forgive me, another Rob Ford Blog

So, I’m going to write another blog about Rob Ford.

As I go forward, let me make the following admissions:

1.       I  don’t live in Toronto, so I have never voted for or against Rob Ford as Mayor. 

             (I live in Pickering and work in Toronto, so I have a vested interest if not a vote)

2.       I believe that Rob Ford is an over the top bully.

3.       I believe that Rob Ford is a liar.

4.       I consider myself a Christian

5.       I am prepared to forgive Rob Ford

6.       And… I secretly like to eat peanut M&Ms while watching trash television.

That last point has nothing to do with this blog, I just really wanted to get it off my chest.  

 (I feel so much better)

Please note that I don’t make any claims that Rob Ford is an drug addict or an alcoholic – I really don’t know – he talks like one, he makes excuses like one and he acts like one… but so do some sober people, so I can’t really say. 

Oh, and I don’t care.

Really…

Rob Ford has invited me to NOT care about his alleged addictions. He has emphatically told us (the public) to butt out… so, I am butting out.  Consequently, I don’t care.

Now, some would take that as a cruel “non-Christian” stance.  We should care about each other.  God loves us all and Jesus loved the little children, etc.  But I’m not sure that “Love” and “Care” are the same things.   Almost without exception, Jesus invites the people he heals to be part of the healing.  “Do you want to be healed?” he invariably asks.  When they say “Yes” they are engaged and part of the healing, sometimes they are invited to do more – but they are always engaged.  When they decide that they don’t want to engage, Jesus lets them walk away… he doesn’t stop loving them, but he stops caring because they do not wish to be cared for.  Jesus respects them as adults and lets them decide for themselves… In love, he lets them go.  I feel the same way about Mr. Ford.  In love, I am letting him go. I do not wish him ill, I take no pleasure in his pain… but I am respecting his wishes and no longer caring.

As long as I’m on a rant/roll here…
I noted that Doug Ford suggested that Denzil Minan-Wong was “No Christian” in his continued conflict with Rob Ford…Implying that a Christian would let bullying and bad-behaviour go un-challenged.   I noted also the Billboard of unknown origin that stood on the Gardiner Expressway for a few days in support of Mayor Ford included the phrase:  “let the one who has never sinned, throw the first stone”.  It’s too easy to mock the spelling mistakes or the un-authorized use of a Municipal Logo, so instead I will comment on the text.  

Is anyone really suggesting that we all need to be perfect before we are allowed to be critical?  Does my speeding ticket or the time that I had 10 items in an “8 Items of LESS” cashier line, mean that I can’t speak out against poor behaviour and/or bad government???  “Let the one who has never spelled incorrectly, wag the first finger!!”  (See, you know that I wouldn’t that one alone, didn’t you?)    

I have been told by good “Christians” that as a “Christian” I should forgive Rob Ford and leave him alone.  I think that the problem here is a fundamental misunderstanding of what “forgiveness” means, in a Christian or any other context.  Forgiving is not forgetting… When you forgive somebody, you don’t pretend like nothing ever happened; life does not go back to the way it was before.   Forgiving is when you “let go” of someone or something, it’s when you face the future and stop looking backward; it is when you stop kicking  someone in hopes that it will make you feel better or make up for the pain that they have caused.   I can forgive Rob Ford and still not believe that he should be Mayor.

I can forgive a child abuser and not allow him/her access to children. 

I can forgive a thief, but not give her/him access to my wallet.

In my judgement, Rob Ford is a liar and a bully.  He has not delivered on his promises and he has so “narcissized” his office (yes, I just invented a word) that his Mayoralty has become about him as a person and not about the agenda by which he was elected.  He doesn’t show up for work and by his own admission, he is often unfit to make responsible decisions.    

And I forgive him. 

I’m not going to keep kicking him in hopes that it will make things right or make me feel better… but he can’t be Mayor anymore: Either by legal means now, or by election next year.  And his not being allowed to continue as Mayor does not make us un-forgiving. 

If the same (admitted) behaviour was exhibited by a surgeon, you would not let her/him operate on a patient.

If the same (admitted) behaviour was exhibited by a company President, you would move to have him/her removed.

If the same (admitted) behaviour was exhibited by a husband or father next door, you would call the Police or Child Services. 

You would not “forgive” him, and let him act irresponsibly, dangerously, aggressively and recklessly with his children or spouse behind closed doors.  If you did, I would suggest that you are very “un-Christian” and care little for the more vulnerable, the potential victims.   I’m not saying that Rob Ford is abusive to his children or his wife –  I am using a metaphor - I am saying that he is dangerous and reckless with the people of this city and should only be allowed supervised access to Torontonians.

I don’t want to punish Rob Ford.  I don’t want to dwell on the past.  I forgive him and am letting go of the past.  I would gladly assist in his healing if he asked me.  I think that Jesus would approve… but I don’t think that he should continue in a position of authority or responsibility where there are vulnerable people – and Toronto is FULL of vulnerable people – that’s the very constituency to whom the government is responsible.

I invite you – nay, encourage you  - to make up your own mind about Rob Ford. Never mind me or  Saturday Night Live or the Daily Show… ask yourself if you think that he’s told you the truth often enough to be trusted; ask yourself if you would trust him to operate on or give important advice to someone you love; would you drive confidently over a bridge that he designed or built in the last three years?  Wonder if you would leave your children or your parents in his care…   and decide for yourself.  But whatever you decide, do no equate “Forgiving” with putting things back the way they once were; do not imagine that it is a synonym for “Forgetting”  and don’t tell me that continuing to take abuse is “Christian”… it simply ain’t so. 

P.S.  This song is not about Rob Ford.. and it contradicts much of what I just wait - but it did inspire this blog.

http://youtu.be/fpQNLZRcNA4