Gretta, Church and just a little bit of ranting.

A good friend and colleague beat me to the bunch with his vblog…  http://youtu.be/6bP28ICDGMg

    however I feel compelled to publish regardless.

I should also point out that this is not a typical blog, it is more specific and United Church of Canada centric… feel free to leave the room at any time.

It’s about my colleague the Rev. Gretta Vosper.

Allow me begin by saying, I like Gretta Vosper on a personal level. We used to share a grocery store and coffee shop and I always looked forward to seeing and talking with her.  We have been part of the same Presbytery (Regional Church body) for eight years. I find her compassionate, intelligent and I would trust her with my children (granted they are all in their thirties).   I have read her books and respect her opinions.  However, I believe that it is time for her to withdraw from the United Church of Canada. 

I have always loved the United Church of Canada for being a large tent;  I love and respect the “Congregationalist” part of our United Church that allows (even demands) congregations to have their own personalities and not be called to strict adherence to a restrictive doctrine.   (Feel free to disagree with my description of the United Church of Canada). I recognize that Rev. Vosper has always (apparently) had the support of her congregational board.   However (that word again),  the United Church of Canada also has a responsibility – not to stifle creativity, wonder or speech, but to provide a place where one can come and find “Church”, talk about the experience of God; engage with (at the very least) the stories and teaching of Jesus, whom we call, Christ.   I listened carefully to Gretta’s interview on CBC radio’s Tapestry earlier this month

(http://www.cbc.ca/tapestry/episode/2013/10/04/letting-it-go-gretta-vosper-miriam-katin-eulogies/)  and I suspect those who wander into West Hill United Church would experience something like “Church”, but not Church. 

According to Gretta, the term God is not used;  there is no place of privilege for Christian/Hebrew Scripture or Jesus (noted by Gretta as “not a particularly brilliant leader).  As a friend and colleague pointed out it would be akin to my going to see my Family Doctor expecting medical advice and therapy only to discover that she prefers to now treat with an alternative homeopathy that is neither practiced or endorsed by the local College of Physicians.  I went to my Doctor expecting the medicine practiced in the major hospitals, had I desired an alternative, I could also seek that out.  It is at least polite to let people know that you are an “alternative” practitioner and no longer an exponent of majority medicine.

Gretta still uses the honourific “Reverend”, granted her by virtue of being in Ordered Ministry within the United Church of Canada; her congregation is still identified as West Hill “United Church”.  I feel a lack of integrity in this and it strikes me as misleading, even “false” advertising.   (I would be ticked off to arrive at a Ford Auto Dealership, only to discover that they were only interested in selling bathtubs.)

Please appreciate that I’m not against Rev. Vosper -  I’m not convinced that any reference to  “God” will always connote a dramatically “interventionist” being (benevolent or otherwise)- but that’s a quibble.  I respect the good people who gather at Westhill United Church; I do not deny their spiritual practice or good works.   I also have no quarrel with the Unitarian Church or some of the Non-Theist groups that I have visited.  But they don’t refer to themselves as United Church of Canada.

Also, understand that I’m NOT suggesting that we should kick her out.  I worry that once we start kicking people out we set a precedent and we begin to get pretty nit-picky with who is “orthodox” and who is not so “orthodox”.  I don’t want to be part of a community that insists that there is only ONE way to talk things that are indescribable.

I also have respect for the traditions and practices of my church, and we ordained Gretta in response to what we believe to be God’s call.  What do we do now? Explain to God that this time, God blew it… made a mistake… didn’t read the fine print… didn’t know what God was doing? 

So, what do I want?

I want Gretta to consider leaving on her own.

She went through Discernment and Ordination.  In time, she had a revelation.  Such a revelation that she felt the need to break dramatically from the practices and traditions of our church.  She’s not the first…  but she seems to be one of the few who has insisted on staying.

In the Tapestry interview, Gretta shares that she dreams of a world in which religion is eradicated.  Very dramatic language, but I trust her sincerity.  She also indicated that the continuation of church empowers those who would misuse God and oppress people with the very texts, traditions and understandings that I believe can set them free.  So, if the church is a negative influence in the world – how can she, with integrity, continue to gather in a “Church”? How can she pay “taxes” to the larger church, a body that is trying to reach out to more people all the time?   I do those things, but I believe that the church can be a good influence on society… It makes no sense to willingly, knowingly do “evil” or at least “delay truth and justice”, and it calls into question Gretta’s integrity.  I know that she would not privilege such a story, but I recall Jesus looking at a coin stamped with the head of Caesar, and saying “Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s… and unto God that which is God’s”  The building says “United Church”… but Gretta’s not rendering.... and she’s thwarting her own dream.

 

Finally, I would argue against Gretta’s supposition that our very language and existence empowers those who preach a Gospel of oppression and cruelty… should we abandon the language, traditions and buildings entirely, we leave the abusers alone in the house of God to do as they will, with no one to stand against them and speak the truth.  The truth that many of us have found in the words, teachings and life of Jesus Christ.   I’m not giving the church over to the crazies… 

So endeth my rant.

Sweat Pants and God

I was in the bank today waiting for the teller to be finished with somebody who was apparently managing the takeover of RIM through this one beleaguered teller.  As I was filling the time not cursing under my breath, I noticed that roadblock to my banking satisfaction was wearing flip flops and sweat pants two sizes too big for his skinny…  well, you know, waspish frame.

I looked around and noticed that most of the customers were very casual in their dress: It looked like breakfast in University Freshman residence.  I am not being judgmental… I was wearing old jeans, disguised Crocs (don’t tell my wife that I wore Crocs out in public!), and an old zippered hoody  (I may or may not have been wearing underwear).  Maybe it’s because I watched Madmen early this morning (thank you PVR), or because I had nothing else to do as I waited my turn for the teller (another account?? Come on, buddy!)… but do you remember when we used to dress up? 

Not just for weddings and funerals.  People used to dress up to get on an airplane, to go out for dinner, to go shopping… Men wore hats and were never seen without a jacket and tie.  My grandfather would wear a tie to chop wood (which might have got him fired, because really nobody appreciated him bringing all of that wood into work).  But we don’t dress up anymore.

Shopping in sweatpants… I think it was on Seinfeld that it was declared that sweatpants were a declaration to the world that one has given up!  I think that there may be something to this.  

Now, to be clear, I am a casual person: I wear jeans to work, I rarely tuck in my shirt and only recently bought ties after reading Fifty Shades of Grey… so, I’m not looking to get on Blackstone’s fashion list.  But I wonder if maybe this “casual” attitude to haberdashery isn't part of a great casual trend:  We don’t make things as well as we used to… many of us don’t work as hard or work to achieve the same excellence as we once did (good enough for them… close enough for jazz… ).  We’re relaxed and casual about it all.  

Including our faith and beliefs.  How many people really know what they believe?  How many are willing to contemplate, converse, wonder and strive to achieve a philosophy or faith that is actually of some value?  I’m not talking about a jingoistic repeating of phrases or a knee-jerk reaction that automatically disagrees with everything that contains a key word (your choice:  God, Spiritual, Catholic, Scientific, Atheist, Conservative, Liberal, Ke$ha).  I’m talking about a faith in something more than you… something worth working for (or dying for).  Something that challenges you and also comforts you – because you know that what you are working for matters; that what you believe in has value.   I find such a faith in the God that I recognize in Jesus… but that’s me.  I can respect other faiths… but it seems that many of us have donned the sweatpants of belief and declare to the world: I've given up.  We don't want to talk about what we believe.  Sometimes because we don't want to create conflict, but more often than not, I think that it's because we are insecure - we don't really know what we believe.  We have a couple of stories from childhood that we remember, maybe a couple of hymns or folk songs (Kumbaya, anybody?) and couple bumper stickers or FaceBook posts.  But anything with real depth??  Brother, that simply won't tweet!

Please, I ask of you:  Don’t give up. 

Look up.  

Speak up. 

Talk it up.  

Dress up… put on a hat… try a cravat... talk to somebody about what you believe, not in an effort to convert them or to prove your beliefs to be the best… but to engage together in a journey of discovery.  Try an idea on for size and see if it works for you. If it does, add it to your intellectual wardrobe; if not - take it in a bit here and there, bedazzle it... or toss it out and try something else on.  Talk and listen to another person about your philosophy of life, so as to show them respect… the respect of actually sharing something that matters; something that you have spent some time on creating - offer them the respect of listening and considering what they have to say.  You don’t have to be a published theologian… you don’t have to be a blogger (although, let’s be honest, bloggers are so cool!!  Really… that’s what my mom said…and she said that you all non-bloggers are just jealous).  You don’t have to have any experience in theologizing (wondering about God) or philosophizing (loving knowledge), you just have to be prepared to listen and learn.

And maybe... just maybe, we can find a way to grow together. 

Maybe... just maybe, we discover that faith and science can actually get along  

             - even inspire each other.

Maybe... just maybe, we find a place for reason and humility in some of our "religious" pursuits.

Maybe... just maybe, we can stop being puppets of the hate-mongers, the fear merchants and all of those people who insist that there is nothing that we can do about the world. 

Whatever happens... I am convinced that it begins, by getting out of our sweatpants.

   (at least in public)

At a loss with a Prophet....

I love the prophets.  I love the stories… I love the passion… I love the wild beards.   I love the license to speak and say what must be said.   I had lunch with a prophet today.  Well, he looked like a prophet.  He’s older than me.  Jewish.  Wild greying beard… and he has a gruff voice that can make you smile, even as it commands your attention.  The kind of voice meant to echo off of walls or from the bottom of cisterns  (look it up).

We sat in a lovely restaurant beside Lake Ontario, he ate mussels, I drank wine… and we talked.  We talked as old friends do; we said things that should never be blogged and we laughed at things we would never admit to laughing at. I imagine that lunch with Elisha might have been much the same, although an all you can eat salad bar would likely replace the bottomless soup pot  (again, look it up).   Some might see a difference in that my friend does not believe in God.  He comes from a long line of very devout men and women; he learned his lessons well… but as he feels his age; continues to grieve the loss of his wonderful wife and partner almost 16 months ago and watches the insanity of the world on his TV, he has given up. God has let him down or, at least, left him with no purpose.  I was at a loss as to how to respond.

What.. I’m supposed to tell him to get over his grief and enjoy his life?  What kind of pisher do you think me?  (Can’t help it – spend time with the man, you want to speak Yiddish).  Normally, we know what to do with people like this:  Smile at them, speak loudly and slowly... and pretend you can’t hear them as you walk away.  After all, you can’t make them happy, so why try?

My friend misses his wife.  He hurts for the mishegas of the world (warned you…).  He is dispirited by political gamesmanship, blatant dishonesty, stupidity on the part of the public and the never-ending pursuit of more war, more hatred and little effort made to increase  respect or humanity.   He remembers a time when honour and morality were valued and celebrated in society, religious groups didn’t sell out for money and parents valued their children more than themselves.   He longs for a time when people would listen to each other.

Like I said, there’s nothing you can do to make him happy.  So, best to leave him alone:  His loss of joy in life doesn't have to be mine.  You know what I mean... I can't fix him, so best to get my distance in case he brings me down. 

But, remember I also said that he was a prophet.  And as I recall, prophets didn't really want to be cheered up or fixed.  Jeremiah wasn’t hoping that someone would show him that things were actually better than he thought; he wasn't asking to be shown a sunny sky and told that all was right with the world.  He knew that things were a mess and what he wanted was for others to hear him… to listen… and take action to make things better for themselves.  Same as my friend… he’s not asking me to cheer him up, he wants me to listen... he wants me to learn.  So, I'm listening.    Here’s what I heard today: *

I should be very aware that I am in a good place in my life and I should enjoy it and be thankful, not take for granted my supportive, loving wife… my kids… my friends… my health.   Nothing lasts forever and it would be shame to only realize after things have changed, how great they really were.

I should be aware that real faith in God does not come from a book or someone telling you what to believe… it comes from within.  It is nurtured and celebrated in a feeling of purpose. Call it God; don’t call it God… but feel it and act on it.

I should do all that I can to support and highlight those who make the “right” choices, even when the wisdom of the world would have them do something else: Those who give up votes, power or money because there is a higher calling than being rich, powerful or elected. 

I should listen…   That was his very explicit message to me: People should listen.  It is in listening, really listening, that ideas get in and take root… that strangers become friends… the respect is born and hope is possible.  If we don’t listen than we live in our own little worlds… alone and lonely.

The irony is that this Atheist Jew revealed more God to me in our lunch than a semester of studying the prophets in Seminary.  He opened up his life; his heart…and he showed me God’s message inside.  I hope that I remember… not only what he said, but also that he HAS something to say.  The next that I’m tempted to grin and think about about something else as another un-cheerful person wants to talk… I hope that I remember to listen and discover the wisdom that they are offering; I hope that I treat them with the respect that a prophet deserves – even if I don’t know them or love them as much as I do this guy. 

If I can, then maybe… just maybe, I learn;  the world gets better; God’s presence becomes more clear; and I get to be half the mentsh my friend has always been… (look it up, I can’t do everything for you)

If you have a chance... grab lunch with a prophet, you'll be glad that you did.

* I should be honest -  he may have said very different things, and I could be mis-representing him completely…but that's his tsuris!)