No Sex Ed, please... we're from Ontario!

Just thinking off the top of my head… about a new sex education curriculum in Ontario.

7 points...  Which are not necessarily the views of my Church, my congregation or even the majority of my friends (although they might be).  Just me thinking with a keyboard in front of me...

1.      It is the duty of the opposition to “oppose” programs and policies put forth by the Government, so I have no problem with the Tories pushing back.  However, opposition should be free of personal attacks.  I will note that the most blatant bit of attack innuendo blew up in MPP McNaughton’s face.  McNaughton:  “it’s not the premier of Ontario’s job — especially Kathleen Wynne — to tell parents what is age-appropriate for their children.”  

Wynne: “What is it that especially disqualifies me for the job that I’m doing? Is it that I’m a woman? Is it that I’m a mother? Is it that I have a master’s of education? Is it that I was a school council chair? Is it that I was the minister of education?” Wynne said in the house, staring down the Tory MPP.

2.       Families should be consulted on changes in curriculum.  However, there is also a time for experts to weigh in and be respected for their expertise.   I have heard more than one person talk about the “Gay Agenda” and the power of suggestion that will make our children “choose” to be gay.  These people are not experts.  I refuse to believe in a “Gay Agenda” mostly because most of my friends in the LGBTQ community can’t agree on anything… from whom to vote for, to theology, public transportation and whether or not Neil Patrick Harris was a good or terrible Oscar Host.   

      And as for sexuality and expression of self, how is that we are still talking about choice?  You do not choose to be a Lesbian, you simply are… it might take time for you to authentically express yourself because of the pressure put on you to conform to a certain “norm” within the community (or family), but you don’t choose to be gay.  Personally, with my love of Musical Theatre, women’s shoes, Judy Garland and Cher, my long association with the Antique business and career in the United Church, do you think that I CHOSE to be heterosexual?   It is who I am, and no amount of "persuasion" is going to change that.  We are who we are… and it’s the people who can’t seem to grasp this reality that underlie the need for a new curriculum.   Maybe, if we were able to broaden or eliminate the definition of “Normal” we could save a lot of very good people a lot pain and suffering.

3.       I've heard it said that we shouldn't allow the State to be in charge of something so personal and important as Sex Education.  I agree completely – that’s why I have never supported prayer in school.  If it is important to you, then pray with your children, don’t leave it to Mr. Weatherby to provide spiritual guidance to your children over the school P.A. system.   If you don’t like the Ontario Sex Education curriculum, then opt out and do a better job at home – that is an option. Take it.

   

However, there are great many parents who do not have the time, the skill or the inclination to take up this task responsibly, so someone’s got to do it – as a matter of public health, at least.

4.       I've heard it said that Grade Three is too young an age to hear about homosexuality.  Really?  

      "But my friend Timmy has two Dads and Rachel has two Moms… and I think that Johnny’s Mom used to be a Dad…  "  

      Should we simply tell them not to worry their pretty little heads over such puzzles until they’re older?  

      

      And never mind the kids who come from Cisgendered Heterosexual parents, what about the kids who come from the variety of family constructs that include same sex couples… should we keep them away from show and tell, force them to make Father’s Day Cards from their Moms and just keep them quiet until they’re old enough to understand the songs of Cole Porter?   I assume that most children, by the time they are in Grade Three, have been exposed to television and probably the internet.  So, they are seeing Tide commercials with gay couples, television shows and characters that present different expressions of family and sexuality, they are meeting transgendered people in the world around them and through media; they might even have a transgendered minister!  We are already trying to explain to little Tiffany why “Anaconda” is not a good choice for the grade three talent show and why Daddy thinks that “Blurred Lines” is a terrible song.  This new curriculum isn't trying to shape the world, it is trying to keep up and prepare our children to live in it happily and responsibly.

5.       This fall, the majority of university under-grad admissions, will have been born in 1997.   

      Think about that for a moment… 1997.   

      Remember, just the other day when Farrah Fawcett was drunk on David Lettermen?  

      Or when Lady Di, died??  

      That was 1997.    

      Since then, same sex marriage (better known as “Equal Marriage”) has become law in Ontario and later, Canada… some believe that was the end of the battle and everything is fine now for Gays and Lesbians… but reported violence against gay and lesbian teens is higher now than it was in 1997; on line bullying of those who might identify themselves as belonging to the LGBTQ community is a horrible phenomenon that we didn't imagine in the pre-FaceBook world.   We need a curriculum that addresses the reality and needs of 2015, not one that still dwells in the late 1990s, even if that does seem like “just yesterday”.

6.       In the past couple of years, whether it’s students of dentistry or frosh-hazing University Seniors, we have seen myriad examples of our education system failing to effectively teach respect for others and for ourselves; we have failed to empower people to say “No” confidently and for others to hear “No” as a viable answer to a proffered question, not a rejection of a them as a whole person.  We will only overcome a "Rape" culture, if we can nurture a "Consent" culture, this curriculum at least recognizes the terms.    

      This curriculum is not perfect; it will not fix all of our woes, but if it educates just one person to the reality that being a lesbian is not a “choice”;  that there is no secret cabal of Gay people pushing an agenda on our society… if it provides on child a moment of relief when he realizes that he is not a freak for feeling the way that he does… if it invites any of our diverse community into a better relationship with an “other”… if it helps to create an environment where we can be who we are and be in respectful, joyful relationships with others…if it keeps one kid from "sexting" a friend...  then it is an improvement over the existing program and I am glad to embrace it.

7.       Finally… it is true that I no longer have children in the system that will be affected by this new curriculum – but I do live in community and those children who are in school today ARE my children: They are and will be my neighbours, my leaders and my care-givers as I get older – so, I have an important investment.

Oh… and for those who think that we should be teaching Math not Masturbation to teens... trust me, they've already made the decision and no curriculum is going to change that. 

Not much of a team player....

21 Coptic Christians were apparently beheaded by ISIS.

This is horrific.

Please, make no mistake, I am offended and disgusted and devastated by these deaths and I am seething with anger at ISIS.   A great number of people that I know on Facebook and elsewhere have posted their outrage and anger.  Many of them have appealed to me directly because these are Coptic Christians who have been killed, as if I should be particularly offended because they are Christians.

Please, dear friends, do not take offence:  I don’t care that they are Christians.  I care that they are human beings who have been slaughtered.

For me, being a Christian isn't about being in a club or on a team.  It is the way that I have found God through Jesus Christ and recognized the sacredness of life and my responsibility to all of creation.  The Kingdom of God is NOT an option.

For me, recognizing Jesus as the Son of God, is not my way of saying that my God is better than yours or saying that my conduit to God is WAY more important than yours because he is the “SON” of God.   By calling Jesus the son of God, I recognize that God is immanent in the human experience, not distant; by calling Jesus the son of God, I attest to the fact that I don’t NEED any other revelation, it is complete for me.  By calling Jesus the Christ, I acknowledge that he is the one anointed to reveal God, to bring salvation to (at least) me.   I don’t need to deny your access or reference to God. 

So, I am outraged that 21 Coptic Christians have died at the hands if ISIS terrorists.  I am also outraged that Islamist Extremists have also target Hindus and Baha’i and Buddhists and Jews and Atheists.  I am outraged that Islamist Terrorists have killed MORE Muslims than any other single group... strangely many of us seem to be able to ignore the slaughter of those with whom we do NOT share a creed or tradition.   

Killing is people is wrong.  We all know that.  As a Christian, I know that and I’m given guidance and support as I try to honour that sacredness in others.  But please… don’t tell me that I should care more about certain people because we often share a creed… let me be outraged, angered, grieved and distraught because human beings have been senselessly murdered…. And let me be inspired and directed by my faith to make the world, not more “Christian”, but more compassionate and humane for everyone. 

End of my rant...  God bless those who have died and their families and communities. 

Heterodoxy, maybe even Heresy to start the New Year!

The church newsletter went out yesterday... much to my surprise, I have already received numerous requests for a copy of my "Notes from Norm"  Something seems to have hit a chord with my folks... and so, not just because I am too lazy to send copies to all who ask, but also because maybe there's somebody reading my blog for whom this might also strike a chord. 

or not. 

Also, I haven't blogged in over 6 weeks... and I really should have written something. 

So, as my way of multi-tasking, I offer this a response, inspiration and long over-due publication. (WOW, three things a once... if you include me hiding my head in shame for calling this multi-tasking, that's FOUR things at once. )

Without further delay:  

January 4^th, 2015.  It was the first Sunday of a New Year.  I was still recovering from my Man-Flu (formerly Man Cold) as well as the joy and efforts of Christmas at Jubilee and in the Seli family, which involved several extra services, events and a Christmas Dinner that would be the first meal cooked in my son’s new house and would gather my children, parents, sister, niece and nephew, father-in-law and two brother-in-law… as well as my son’s girlfriend who arrived from India three days before.  Did I mention that this was our first time meeting her? Did I mention the Man-Flu?    I mention all of these details perhaps as an excuse… either for what had already happened or what was about to happen. 

I arrived at Jubilee, eager, if not rested, to begin a New Year.  Our first New Year with Music Director Daniel, Drama Wonder Jennine and our ever exuberant intern Étienne.  I was looking forward to singing more Christmas Carols (after all the season extends beyond the day) and celebrating Communion.  There is something special about Communion on the first Sunday of a New Year.  For me, it is a balm to my soul and nerves that have been stretched over Christmas; it is a quiet moment when I sit at table with God and all of Creation and see  holy in the simple and mundane.  It is a moment for recognizing and embracing God’s presence and committing to carrying it with me through the year as it unfolds.

Well… I would love to show you a picture of the beautiful Communion set up that greeted me at 10:15 as I darted into the sanctuary to grab check something with Daniel before the service.

Somehow, in the joy and stress of Christmas time, I had not communicated my dedication to New Year’s Communion… I had not passed on my passion for the Sacrament… I had not requested or checked that Communion be set up for Sunday.  

There was nothing there.

I ran to the kitchen… nothing was being prepared.  I checked the Craft Room where Communion Supplies are stored… nothing was happening.  I checked again and discovered that we had NO bread… NO Grape Juice… and NObody to fix it.

I hung my head, decided to blame my Man-Flu and went back to my office.  I gathered Jennine and Étienne, told them the news and decreed that we would have Communion next week and simply skip over the Communion Prayers in the Order of Service.

It was Jennine who blurted, “Aw c’mon, we can do it!”

“We don’t have any bread” I explained.

“I have some Christmas Cake” said Jennine as she proferred a lovely Christstollen that Pat had given her for Christmas.  I looked at it… it was bread.  And dried fruit, marzipan and powdered sugar.. but I don’t what kind of bread Jesus had at the Last Supper, do you??

Étienne’s enthusiasm was instant (no shock) and Jennine set about to cut up the Christstollen while I found some Fruit Drink, broken cookies (in case we ran out of Christstollen)… prepared one tray of Fruit Drink in tiny cups, and unceremoniously put the proceeds of our efforts on the Communion Table along with our usual Cup and Plate.

As the service proceeded, I adapted the prayers and change the focus of the service so that we might recognize the order that God brings out of chaos; the hope when everything seems to be falling apart; the promise that God continues to act in the world and in our less than perfect lives.   It seemed to connect.

Of course, I would never want my Seminary, nor the folks that ordained me to see what transpired that cold January morning.  There was no elegance to the table, we did not have the “proper” elements for celebrating Communion – recalling that Jesus broke the bread and declared “This is my body broken for you” I snapped a chocolate chip cookie in twain and hoped that no one would laugh. As people received the “body” of Christ, Étienne reminded them that “Jesus is sweet”.   The Fruit Drink was ridiculously sweet and very, very bright.  As we had no extra servers, Jennine, Étienne and I served everybody as they came down in one line down the centre aisle, necessitating a fair bit of weaving, cutting around behind and in front and much less efficiency than our usual practice.  And some kids tried for seconds (some succeeded).

Not dignified.

Not orderly.

Probably not really official.

And yet… having only one tray of small cups, I watched many people choose to dip in the large cup, even if they would normally have taken a small cup, because they wanted to make sure that would be enough for everybody  (we had one small cup left after everybody had been served) – simple kindness.  I saw people being patient with each other as soft collisions necessarily took place.  I got engaged in discussion during coffee about whether what we had just done was Orthodox, Heterodox or Heresy… and I heard many people talking about the experience.  How often do we stop to talk about Communion??

But more than that, I felt the presence of God in our sanctuary that morning.  As badly as we did it; as heretical as our practice may have been… it was holy.

As we did our best; made do with what we had available, God was present to make up the difference.  What a great way to start the New Year!

It has struck me since that this is something that happens at Jubilee quite often: We take what we have, we put it out in our imperfect way to the community

               and God is present. 

At Community Table.

At Ulterior Worship

At Labyrinth Walks

At Bible Study

At Living the Questions Discussions

At Youth and Children’s programs

At Baptism and Communion.

As collect food and clothing for our brothers and sisters in need.

As we try to support our friends at Eva’s Place and the Massey Centre

As we try to welcome the stranger who comes through our doors for the first time.

In all that we do… God is present.

I would invite you to be similarly inspired and recognize that even though you don’t know what to do from time to time; even though you may not be perfect… you have the promise that God is present and will make up the difference.

Don’t know what to say to a friend who has lost a loved one?  You don’t have to an expert, offer what you have with sincerity… say the wrong thing if you must…but know that it doesn’t rest on you alone, like our January Communion, God will make up the difference.

Have a thought about God or a question about Jesus but don’t know how to phrase it? Don’t want to sound foolish or be wrong?  Remember the January Communion, say what you’re thinking and feeling, you don’t have to be a graduate theologian (nobody likes them anyway)  - dare to speak and let God make up the difference.

Afraid to take on a project or a task in the community, at work, at Jubilee?  You don’t have to be an Engineer or an experienced planner… offer your imperfect Christstollen and remember our January Communion and expect people to collide gently, respond politely and engage in the imperfection with love… and trust God to make up the difference.

What started out as a disaster and then became a great risk, proved to be a highlight of a New Year and a wonderful reminder of what happens when we do the best with what we have and trust in God to make up the difference…. Not just a Jubilee, but in life, as well.

Norm.

No doubt, there will be typos and errors of grammar in this - 

but I am trusting in you to overlook them… and God to make up the difference.