I believe in Prayer

I haven’t blogged in a very long time.

  and I'm going to be hackneyed and awkward today... blame on lazy blog muscles. 

I was silent during the Canadian Federal Election, because I was reminded by the government of the day that I was not allowed to be publicly partisan as a “minister”,  lest my church’s Charitable Status be in question.  As my blog is linked to my church Website and Facebook Page and because I agree that in my role as pastor/minister/priest there is no place for political partisanship,  I stopped writing.

Then, it seems that I forgot how to write.

Then, there just seemed to be too much about which I could write.

And I was crazy busy.

BUT then, the anti-prayer backlash became a thing.

After the horrific shootings in San Bernadino California yesterday, public figures who offered prayers were criticized for the weakness of their response.  It was suggested that Prayer is an easy way out.   I agree that many people say “I’m praying for…” as a way of doing something when they are unable or uninclined to do anything else… and I do feel strongly that water is the best response to a thirsty person, even before prayer.   But I also think that people have the wrong idea of prayer.   (practitioners and critics alike).

We’ve all heard stories of the power of prayer, people who have prayed  and seeming “miracles” have ensued; but we also know of lots of people who have prayed and “nothing” happened.   Prayers have not been answered  and please don’t tell me the “but the answer was ‘No’” story... ‘cause I pray for peace every day and I find it hard to imagine that God is saying “No” and millions of others every day.

The thing about prayer, is that I’m not exactly sure that it’s a conscious decision.

Most of us recognize hat prayer that comes out in desperation… even before we know it;  without our thinking…

“O God, no!”

“Please, please… God”

Even those who don’t believe in prayer… those who are non-theist, atheist, post theist… “beyond all of this”-ist… modern, right thinking rational people…  In a desperate moment, it comes out.

I talked to a modern non-theist, non-religious friend recently.  She told me that she stood in the shower early on a Saturday morning, after a night of hearing about the violence in Paris (a place that she loves to visit) and she found herself talking quietly to herself in the shower, asking for peace and comfort for everyone in Paris;  an end to the violence and that people would be okay… that a better day would come… 

I asked her why she did it… she said, “I didn’t know what else to do…”

I asked gently, “were you talking to yourself…?”

“No… I don’t think so… maybe… no”

My friend is not much different than most of us.  We’re modern, intelligent people and we’re pretty sure that we’re not talking to ourselves… but… but…

As we talked further we agreed that there is something special about those quiet conversations,  those hopes or fears that we speak in the shower, in the silence of our minds, or in the intimacy of church.  Those words have meaning and we do it because deep down we know that they matter.  It’s just that we don’t know how to describe it… we lack the vocabulary… and we don’t want to seem like idiots.   So, we don’t talk about it.

But we do it.

Most are very clear that we don’t  believe in a Cosmic Concierge, who gets us what we ask for because we’re on the team… or we asked the right way… or so often, or with so many people that we win him over to our wishes.  I think many of us are afraid to talk about prayer because we don’t want to endorse a partisan, petty god who works for us and not for others; who smiles upon Hannah, but doesn’t seem to care about Abigail.   We don’t believe in a god who allows us to abdicate responsibility by simply handing it over in prayer.

So let me say this:  I  still believe in prayer.  

I believe that it matters and that it makes a difference.   I learned about prayer from my parents:  As a little boy saying grace before dinner and prayers before bed, I told God what I had done that day and asked God to take of the people that I knew and loved.   In Sunday School and in Church the tradition continued.  Years later, experiencing the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous with a someone with whom I felt connected, I experienced prayer in a very real way. I met people, became dear friends with people who prayed like drunks in church  (a fine tradition if 1 Samuel 1:1ff is any evidence).  These people prayed for a new way of living, prayed out of their torment, prayed out of need… prayed like their lives depended on it… also prayed without abdicating responsibility, but recognizing the limits of their own power.    I’ve seen prayer work, but it works in on-going relationship. 

At the risk of repeating myself, I don’t endorse a theology of the Cosmic Concierge who waits for me to ask politely before doing my bidding.   I do endorse a living God who dwells within me and throughout all of creation.   And in relationship with that living God, I find strength that I never thought I could have, I find peace that comes with the knowledge that it’s NOT all about me.  

  

When you read about prayer in most of the Abrahamic Scripture, there always seems to be a bit of negotiation. “   If you do this for me, I will do something for you”  “We will be your people, if you will be our God like this….” 

Again, that’s the problem for some people.  It makes God a petty despot who needs to be assuaged, cajoled or flat out “bought”.   And yet.. I’m not sure that it’s God as much as it is us.  Surely you recognize the familiar prayer:  God, if I get through this, I promise that I’ll never do it again!

God, if I could just win that lottery, 

get that raise, 

find that job, 

have this thing that I want to so much… 

I promise that I’ll give some of the money to charity; 

I’ll go to church more often; 

I’ll be nice to my neighbour.

What I hear in these ‘negotiations” is not the buying and selling of favour, but relationship.  Give and take.  Conversation.  Real sincere prayer, for me, is about relationship and so there needs to be an honest conversation.   This is who I am God…  I’m not great.. parts of me are pretty fair, but other parts… well, you know.. we talk to God sincerely; we get rid of the artifice and falsity and speak the truth.

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When I pray – I joke with God (seriously, I do) because that’s who I am and somehow in the absurdity of humour, I feel authentic…  God, remember that I’m the guy who still prays for the Leafs, like it might make a difference, so you know that I am hopeful… please help me raise money for Refugees and those who are so vulnerable that my efforts might actually save their lives…

I’m in real relationship with God, so there’s no point in my trying to sound like the Pope or Richard Burton or Taylor Swift. (now, that would be a dinner party).

And being me, I pray for my children and my wife… and my sports teams… and for Paris, Beirut, Syria, San Bernadino...  not necessarily in that order, or under the impression that my children are more important than your children or that my wife is of greater value than a woman in the Sudan or that San Bernadino is the only place visited by violence and traged..  but because that’s who I am right now.. I am those worries and those pains.

And in the midst of such concerns, I also give thanks.  Because, I had a great afternoon yesterday, and  if we’re in a relationship you should know that.

And I listen.  

Because it’s a relationship.

I listen to the Cosmos Intoning… I listen to that still quiet voice within… and it provokes me, beckons me, invites me into new ways… new insights… I can feel my pettiness and fears lifted up into the light and I let them go… I face my cowardice and dare to try… I experience my humanity and recognizing the mystical humanity and divinity of Jesus, I am assured that God and I are not separate;  we are together.. in relationship… I am not alone.  I also find that prayer takes me deeper - if I give a thirsty person a glass of water, I will quench that immediate thirst - good for me! But if I also take the time to pray, I might also find myself engaged in that person's other needs; I might find that I need to consider justice and why it is that the person in front of me has no water... In this situation prayer does not make it easy for me, it makes it harder because it invites me into deeper relationship with this person as I recognize that we are connected through God with whom I am in deepest relationship. 

Prayer is relationship for me - not request, not abdication or passing the buck. 

In a relationship, I am influenced by the other.  

I am who I am because of my wife… and my children… and my friends…   and I am influenced by God.   I don’t do everything that my wife asks of me (I should); I am not at my children’s beck and call – but I love them, ache for them, hope for them and let them into my life;  I do not do everything that my friends hope that  I will do, but I hear their concerns and your worries, I smile at their joys and rush to their side in times of grief and pain… because we are in relationship.  Similarly, I listen to God… often, I follow bravely, sometimes I drag my feet… Occasionally, I pretend  that I didn’t hear.  All of these relationships make me who I am.

But relationships are two way and so just as I am influenced by God, so is God influenced by me… and others.  God does not do everything that I ask.. God is not solely at my beck and call… but God loves me, aches for me, hopes for me and invites me into God’s life.  God doesn’t do everything that I ask; God sometimes disappoints… but God hears my concerns and worries, smiles at my joys and rushes to my side in times of grief or pain. And it's not just me... it is all of us.   We are all in relationship.  And so, we know that God is influenced by us.  As a Christian I am assured because in Jesus we are promised the permanency of such a relationship – Jesus is both Human and Divine.. now and forever.   God and us, we are in relationship and that cannot be changed.

So, for me, prayer works.  But mostly because it affirms a relationship that makes me more daring and more loving and never lets me abdicate my responsibility as a human being to all of creation... and like any good relationship, it is anything but "easy". 

Jesus Calms the Storm, David takes on Goliath and I try to figure out what to do after the murders at Emmanuel AME Church.

I don't often blog sermons.  (it makes it impossible to repeat them!)  But this is an exception.  On Sunday with Baptisms, Father's Day, Summer Solstice,  Pride Week and Aboriginal Sunday all deserving liturgical attention, it was the murder of nine men and women at Emmanuel AME Church in South Carolina that could not be ignored...   So, I spoke about racism and my part and complicity in it at the beginning of the service and I preached.   I publish because on Monday morning, I found 11 requests for the text of my sermon.  I don't know if it's any good... I can see many "preaching" flaws, but it is sincere and it's the best that I had to offer yesterday. 

To put this in context -  I began the sermon by putting on a kettle… in the early part of the sermon, as I spoke the water heated… and then came to a boil, even as I was coming to a boil.  I then stopped and  made a cup of tea.   I was inspired by some words that Brian Nicholson shared from Joyce Rupp about cups, warmth and tea, at a meeting earlier in the week.

The Gospel and the Hebrew Scriptures that were read will be obvious as my words unfold – but for reference they were Mark 4:35-41; 1Samuel 17:32-49

Here is close to what was preached

It’s been a tough week… and a busy day.  If you don’t mind, I’m going to put the kettle on – I feel like tea.

So Jesus was on the boat.  And there was a storm… a big storm… wind blowing, waves crashing against the side of the boat… the Apostles were hanging one for dear life… sure that at any moment they would capsize;  like any of us would be, they were terrified.

Jesus was napping.

As if he wasn’t worried at all.

Finally, they wake him… and they plead with him… Help us!

Although he will chide them for their lack of faith,  he still calms the storm.   Whoosh!  It’s over.   The wind is gone, the waves have disappeared;  the sea is calm and still.

And if you went to Sunday School or Seminary with me, you know that this moment in scripture shows that Jesus and God are one with all of Creation.  God is not separate or divorced from the elements; from creation… it’s not just we who are in communion or relationship with God:  All of creation is in relationship with God- because even the storm obeys Jesus. Get it?

Cool.   Jesus is like one of the Xmen or an Avenger… an awesome superhero who has great power and is clearly worthy of my cheers and adulation.  Probably a lot better than your non- Christian God. 

But, here’s the thing.    I had a friend who got sick and he died…it wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right…  why didn’t Jesus stop that?   Nine people were praying together in church – they were nice, good people… and they were shot and killed… why didn’t he stop that?  

I love the story… but I don’t need a Jesus who can stop the storm – I need one who can stop bullets… I need a God who can stop racism… put an end to hatred… stop me when I’m being part of the problem and refusing to be part of the solution…. 

I get so angry… and upset… and hurt… and angry again… and it all begins to storm inside me…  Mother Emanuel Church… Residential Schools… War in Afghanistan, Nigeria…  injustice  in Ferguson, in Baltimore, in my own city… teenage victims of violence, child criminals…    It boils up inside of me…it roils up…  it becomes a storm…

{STOP and pour boiling water for tea.}

Did you ever have a friend who would offer you tea when the world makes no sense?  I don’t even like tea all that much… but sometimes… I need a cup.

A cup of tea… slows me down… warms me up…brings calm…  and suddenly the story of Jesus in the boat begins to make sense.  It’s not about a superhero who controls the weather… it’s the observation that the presence of God, that deep abiding faith can calm storms…  like a cup of tea…  faith warms you… right  - to the core…And it really does slow things down (you can’t have instant tea).

When I think of the storms of my life and I have had a couple… it was my faith that warmed me, slowed me down and carried me through.  My faith in God… God’s presence in my struggle…. God’s presence in the struggles of the world…   My trust that Jesus doesn’t do party tricks, he speaks, reveals and embodies truth.  So when I’m lost or confused, I stop and listen for the words of Jesus… I pray and I wonder, “What do I do next?  Where is God leading me?”

Those moments when my hurt was so profound that it made my whole body ache and my mind and heart were just swirling and making no sense… I remind myself that I believe in God…that I am beloved… that I am  enmeshed  in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ… and I can almost hear God speaking to me:  Be still… I am with you… you are not alone… I love you.  And in the next moment, I know that I will survive…. the storm inside and around me is calmed.

{STOP take tea out… and sip from here on…}

You know the thing about tea?  When you put it in a cup, you don’t have grab the handle…you can grab the cup itself and feel the warmth … and  you can hold the cup and offer the handle to someone else.  And you can give them calm…  give them perspective… it’s not just your faith that gets you through the storms… it can also be the faith of another.

I don’t know about you but as the news broke and the media followed the story of the murders at Emmanuel Church in Charleston,  I was storming… I was angry and I was devastated,  I cried;  I got more angry.   I started to feel hopeless:  Because this will never end; things will never improve… racism and violence will always a find a way to destroy what is beautiful.  My faith just wasn’t carrying me this time, the storm raged and I could do nothing about it…   and then I heard the families of the victims speak to the man who had murdered their loved ones  (you likely heard it, too)  and they prayed for him; they spoke words of forgiveness, they refused to give into the anger that was storming in me.  And their faith began to calm my storm.  In their faith – not mine  - I recognized the presence of God… I heard the hope… and I began to believe that we can be better… we can come through this…  In their faith, mine was restored.  

This morning, I come to you with my faith restored… and also aware  that at times, I have been that cup of tea for someone else…it’s been my faith that others have relied on to get through the struggle and the storm:  At the death of a loved one; in the midst of destruction; in the absence of hope… some people have asked me directly- How can you believe? How can I believe?? Others have silently implored with their eyes, their tears, their shaky hands: How can I have faith when everything has fallen apart?   I’ve never had great words of theology or philosophy… but I have held some hands… I have sat and cried… I have hugged…I have prayed… I remember once just sitting and singing old hymns…  and I have shown my faith more than explained ed.  I have been told later how important my presence was… how it calmed the storm.

And I bet you have, too.   (it’s not something for which  I have a unique ability)

Each of us has the ability to share the love and presence of God… each of us can calm the storms for others… And in fact, in our baptism, we have taken on the responsibility of allowing that Divine Presence to flow through us to those in need… we have committed to being cups of tea.   But there is a trick… or a precondition to doing properly. 

To be the one who shares that cup of tea… the one who calms the storm… we have to be who we are authentically.  We have to be truly ourselves… which means that I will share and BE God’s presence differently from you… I may use humour… I will hug… I will sigh and probably cry…I will share my kind of wisdom and compassion… that’s me.  Given my privilege in this time and space,  I will try to make things better in this world by letting go of some of my privilege and making space for others to grow and lead, to find space at the table where decisions are made and all people are fed… I can do that and I can do it authentically.

You see that’s what David and Goliath is all about for me… or at least part of what it is all about. 

Goliath is a Giant.   He terrifies all of the armies of Israel.  He cannot be defeated.  David is small… like me in the face of great evil or darkness.    But David’s faith brings him to volunteer to take on the Goliath... he somehow believes that he can vanquish the giant …win the battle and calm the storm for the Israelites.  Eventually he wins the approval of King Saul (not like there was anybody else eager to go into battle).  Naturally, the King is appreciative, if dubious, and  wants to show David how to do it; equip him for the battle.  And so,  he dresses him in his armour.  The King is larger than the boy shepherd, so his helmet engulfs David’s head… his breast plate hangs low on the youth’s body… his sword all but tips David over… it’s good armour, but it doesn’t fit and it ISN’T DAVID!    David is a shepherd…  he has his own way of doing things; ways that may not be familiar to the King or the rest of the army, but ways that can be effective.  David refuses to be somebody that he is not; refuses to wear the armour that is not authentically his… he puts them aside and claims his own authentic self and is then able to win the battle… to reveal God’s presence powerfully for Israel.

You have to be you.  I have to be me.  If we can all be who God created us to be… who we are joyously destined to be… then God’s presence; God’s love can abound… literally flow through us all.  But we have to be who we truly are.

That’s why we celebrate Pride Week and our identity as an Affirming Church – to encourage all members of the LGBTQ community and beyond to be authentically who they are… to affirm that their love and their lives are sacred and God’s love and presence flows through them…

That’s why we repent and need to work at making reparations for our role in the Residential Schools, where children were taught, coerced and forced to be other than they were created to be.  We forced them to give up their culture, their identity and personhood… and in doing so, we precluded them from being able to fully share God’s love and presence… even with the best of intentions, we tried to stop God from shining through these precious lives.

That’s one of the great tragedies of racism… we try to force people to be other than who they are created to be… we refuse to recognize them for who they are… and we shut down God.   We pour that precious cup of tea into the sink…

But it needn’t always be so.   I heard words of love and hope spoken through tears this week; I recognized the presence of God in what I thought was utter darkness.  And if that can happen in Charleston, South Carolina,  it can happen here.  If I can hear and feel the presence of God in the words of another then I can be the presence of God to others… and so can you.

I can release my privilege and make room at the table for others… I can love all of my brothers and sisters; confront my own racism and bigotry – be it large or small…. I can confront it lovingly with my neighbours and family…   and I can… you can… actually change the world, so that all people can who they were created to be: authentic, loving and unafraid.

But along the way…I’m going to need a few more cups of tea… a few more storms will need to be calmed… but right now, I have no doubt that someone will hand me a cup of tea..  and Jesus will wake up and calm the storm

Thanks be to God.  

Please, Pray for your Pastor. Or Don't.

So, I got one of those messages on Social Media the other day… they come around from time to time:  Pray for Your Pastor.

And then it goes on to list some terrible statistics (without attribution).

97% of pastors have been betrayed, falsely accused or hurt by their friends

70% of pastors battle depression

7,000 churches close each year

1,500 pastors quit each month

10% will retire a pastor

80% of pastors feel discouraged

94% of pastor’s families feel the pressure of  ministry

78%  of pastor’s have no close friends

90% of pastors report working 55-75 hours per week.

And so apparently, we need your prayers.

Let me begin by commenting on how much I am bothered by statistics without attribution.  Was this survey done in 2014 or 1345? How large was the sample?  Was it across Denominations or were only the leaders of the Latvian Orthodox Church included?  But enough of that... let's assume that the numbers reflect a reality for many pastors/leaders in the mainline churches of North America

Let me also say that there are pastors, ministers, priest and other clergy who have been badly treated by systems that often seem un-caring, congregations that are fickle, and some generally rotten people out there in the world.   

But to claim a special burden because we are pastors only serves to exacerbate the problem of clergy isolation as it encourages us to believe that the world is out to get us.

Look at the numbers closely and wonder how many of  those same numbers might also apply to teachers… betrayed, depressed, under pressure, working 55 hours a week or more… given a degree but no job, made redundant every year because cut backs don’t allow more hiring, shown little respect by the public and targets of the hostility of many a parent who just doesn't understand  that their kid is nasty and not that bright.

Let’s wonder about accountants who get called at home by clients who need answers, audits and forms done right now!!  Never mind dealing with an uncaring CRA that changes rules and regulations at whim.

Nurses who face cuts backs, depression, long hours and unsympathetic work places.

Retail workers whose place of employment folds without warning.  

I have friends with PhDs who can’t get full time appropriately remunerated work – I’ll bet that  leads to discouragement, depression, pressure on the family and makes it hard to keep close friends.

Let’s take almost any profession… and  recognize that there is very little job security in 2015.  Very few people will retire in the job that they started in their thirties; very few people will avoid “betrayal” in life or work; everybody feels discouraged from time to time and the families of nearly all working adults feel the pressure of the work/career of the parent or spouse.

No close friends?  Is that really the churches fault?  Maybe the problem is that you’re working 75 hours a week… Don’t!

You see many of us, in a desire to be everything to everybody; to feel valued and loved ,will bend over backwards to please everybody in our ministry… and that is a formula for burn-out and self-destruction, whether you are in ministry or shoe sales; a cleric or an office worker.  At least pastors get to talk about setting boundaries, even if they don't or find it difficult to apply them. 

Let me suggest a few other things peculiar to pastors that others might wish they could include in their work/call/vocation/contract

1.       People line up every week to tell you what a good job you did – even if you didn’t.

2.      When someone dies, you know what to do… you actually have a role to play while others are stuck in their grief with nothing to do

3.      You get invited to a lot of wedding receptions: Free Food and Bar!

4.      You are invited into fascinating conversations on a regular basis and don’t have continually comment on the performance of the Blue Jays or new season of House of Cards

5.      You can take a break to play the piano during the work day and people respect  that you are being creative.

6.      During the work week you get to help the homeless, visit the sick, support young people and engage in Social Justice… while everybody else has to do those things in whatever time they can spare away from work and family obligations.

7.      People think that you work about 75 hours a week so usually leave you alone the weeks before and after Easter and Christmas (that’s almost a whole month).

8.      You get 7 weeks away from work every year and your employer pays for it.

9.      The church pays your phone bill.

10.   As you remind others, you are reminded daily that God is with you and that you are not in any of this alone.

11.  Every week your efforts are made real in music, word and art.  For me, that sure beats selling cars.

12.  Pension.  Yeah… we may complain about it – but we get one… I know millions who wish that they did, too.

For me, all in all, being a pastor is a pretty good deal.   It is hard at times and I suspect that most people couldn't do what I do on a full time basis – but I knew that when I responded to my sense of call.  I knew that my weekends would be forever ruined, I would not often get to go away to the cottage spontaneously; I knew that I would often see people at their worst and not be protected from pettiness and power mongering; I knew that strangers would occasionally blame me for God and all of the church’s failings; I knew that I would spend a great deal of time with people who are dying and/or grieving;  and I knew that I would change jobs half a dozen times before I got my pension  (apparently the generation just entering the work force now can expect to have no fewer than 15 jobs before they retire… in keeping with the inspiration for this post, I will offer NO attribution.)

I’m not saying that pastors don’t have a right to complain, many of them do, but insecurity, difficulty and struggle are not unique features to the pastors role… they are the realities for many (even most) people.  

So, please, pray for you pastor…

and your  Check Out Clerk

Store Manager

Assistant Manager

Officer Worker

Restaurant server

Teacher

Principal

Mechanic

Nurse

Paramedic

Police officer

Firefighter

Accountant

Retailer

Small business owner

IBM Project Manager

Musician

Actor

GM Worker

Social worker

Politician

Aesthetician

Butter and Egg man  (there’s a profession that’s disappearing)

You get the picture:  Pray for us all. 

I'm a Racist

I’m a racist.

I know that I haven’t written anything in ages (busy church, busy life) and that such a statement is a bit of a harsh way back into conversation with folks… but it needed to be said.

I am a racist.

I don’t want to be.

I don’t mean to be.

But the truth is that  words sound wiser in my ears when they come from a voice that sounds like my Grandfather.  

I listen more closely when the face sharing the message reminds me of my Grandmother.  

I tend towards foods that remind me of my Great Grandmother or the culinary heritage of my ancestors. 

I dance better to the rhythms of my childhood.  

My favourite games are the ones that I played with my parents.

Things that remind me of my childhood make me feel safe and comfortable.  

And all of these things make me tend toward my “Tribe” and similar “Tribes”.   I laugh at Irish jokes because I recognize the references and I will often think that other jokes aren't as funny because I am less familiar with their references and rhythms.   

I understand and support solutions that come from my cultural heritage and sound familiar to me.  I know that the best way to fix something is to find a good clever and strong man who will enforce his will for justice on the bad man.  I've learned that from my cultural reading list that begins with the Odyssey, carries on through our “Victory” in World War II and is found in movies like Dirty Harry and The Avengers.   I've been taught by well-meaning people that I should aspire to being good, clever and strong so that I can apply my solution to people’s problems and in that way, love them and make the world better.

That kind of tribalism makes me a racist and a bigot.

Not because I think that other races, cultures or groups are lesser – but because I simply do not give them equal weight when it comes time to listening, embracing or acting.  “Their” way just seems so backward. I give power and privilege to the familiar... sort of an "old boys network" of procedures and ethics. 

I am a cisgendered, heterosexual, man in his early fifties, descended from Irish and Scottish immigrants,  employed full time, and in a stable domestic relationship.  All of which speaks of privilege. (just to be clear, I also cheer for Toronto Sports teams, so it’s not like I’ve got everything going my way).  There are some in the same or similar cohort who want to deny the privilege that we have – but I suspect that much like climate change, we say we don’t believe it simply because we don’t know how to deal with the implications or how to make things better.  One cannot look at the evidence and rationally deny the existence of Climate Change or Racism.

 Yes, I have heard that “white men” can’t get jobs because they all go to “minorities.  (Please note, those who crow this sentiment and include women in the group “minorities” – women are actually in majority, so you are the minority seeking work.)  I have never experienced my person as a liability in finding employment.  I did lose an election once because, apparently, they were looking for a younger voice. That’s not unfair… that was a preference expressed by an informed majority.

I have the privilege of travelling and I have never been held up by airport officials with the exception of one extra baggage check during which the security officers were polite and apologized for taking up my time.

I have been questioned, detained investigated by police.  They have always taken my word when asked to explain myself, always treated me with polite respect, even when one officer thought that I was trying to be uncooperative. 

When I offer assistance to a stranger in the street, it is nearly always accepted and received with thanks.

When I am confused or lost in public, people are always helpful.

Now, all of this could be because of my striking good looks and obviously winning personality… 

or, more likely, it could be that in Toronto 2015, my cohort is in very good standing.  We are not terrorists, anarchists, bitches, immigrants, freeloader, petty criminals, violent thugs, or stupid outsiders – as least as far as public perception goes.

So, why am I dumping this on you, gentle reader?

For the past week or so, I've been stunned into shocked silence by the Earthquake that has devastated Katmandu and I have been equally stunned and shocked by the death of Freddie Gray and the ensuing public demonstrations.  I've sent some money to Nepal to aid in the relief… but I’m not sure what to do for Baltimore.

Except recognize the deep problem and try to at least be less of a contributor. 

What happened in Baltimore and continues to happen in cities and towns across North America is a result of racism. Like Climate Change: I know it, you know it… we just don’t know what to do, so we deny it, or simply shut up.

So, I may not be in time to stop the next black man or child from being assaulted, abused or murdered by the authoritarian system that I support (at least tacitly) – but maybe, I can start to do something that might save the somebody 150 people down the line.  I've

got to start somewhere.

I start by acknowledging that I tend to the familiar and I am most comfortable in my “tribe” – be it defined by race, culture, economics, gender, sexuality, age or something else.  And I commit myself to broadening – to opening up my tribe.  I do that by listening… by following… by praying…

I commit to not so much using my privilege as letting it go.  The world keeps offering me privilege and every time that I fix things “my way”, I get to be the hero and the power and privilege stay with me. Others are invited to look on in gratitude.   I need to let that go and NOT fix everything, but listen to other voices, support solutions that may not make immediate sense to me… I need to hear the voices and respect the opinions of those who are oppressed – rather than comparing their oppression to mine or denying their painful reality.   

And in this, I will begin to open my eyes, my ears and my heart to others.. I will open up my tribe so that one day, I just might recognize everyone as a brother or sister; might agree, disagree, struggle, collaborate in active love, not privileged charity… and maybe, I will recognize that a revolution is possible (as soon as we stop calling them all rioters).

Maybe one day, I will help my government take the needs of First Nations seriously.

Maybe one day, I will help my community be open to immigration.

Maybe one day, I will help my neighbour recognize that brilliant and free people do wear a hijab.

Maybe one day, I will be against violence without having to choose sides. 

Maybe one day, a bad police officer will be arrested immediately and we won't need to consider his or her colour

Maybe one day, I will be informed by the wisdom of elders that weren't at family dinners.

Maybe one day, I will be changed by you...

These thoughts are far from complete… but then, so am I.   But I’m working on it… And for those who might wonder if there’s anything religious in this… it is Jesus, who eats with tax collectors and Samaritans, who reminds me that I need to open up my understanding of tribe and it is a loving God who give me hope that we might all recognize our shared humanity and truly be brothers and sisters to one another. 

No Sex Ed, please... we're from Ontario!

Just thinking off the top of my head… about a new sex education curriculum in Ontario.

7 points...  Which are not necessarily the views of my Church, my congregation or even the majority of my friends (although they might be).  Just me thinking with a keyboard in front of me...

1.      It is the duty of the opposition to “oppose” programs and policies put forth by the Government, so I have no problem with the Tories pushing back.  However, opposition should be free of personal attacks.  I will note that the most blatant bit of attack innuendo blew up in MPP McNaughton’s face.  McNaughton:  “it’s not the premier of Ontario’s job — especially Kathleen Wynne — to tell parents what is age-appropriate for their children.”  

Wynne: “What is it that especially disqualifies me for the job that I’m doing? Is it that I’m a woman? Is it that I’m a mother? Is it that I have a master’s of education? Is it that I was a school council chair? Is it that I was the minister of education?” Wynne said in the house, staring down the Tory MPP.

2.       Families should be consulted on changes in curriculum.  However, there is also a time for experts to weigh in and be respected for their expertise.   I have heard more than one person talk about the “Gay Agenda” and the power of suggestion that will make our children “choose” to be gay.  These people are not experts.  I refuse to believe in a “Gay Agenda” mostly because most of my friends in the LGBTQ community can’t agree on anything… from whom to vote for, to theology, public transportation and whether or not Neil Patrick Harris was a good or terrible Oscar Host.   

      And as for sexuality and expression of self, how is that we are still talking about choice?  You do not choose to be a Lesbian, you simply are… it might take time for you to authentically express yourself because of the pressure put on you to conform to a certain “norm” within the community (or family), but you don’t choose to be gay.  Personally, with my love of Musical Theatre, women’s shoes, Judy Garland and Cher, my long association with the Antique business and career in the United Church, do you think that I CHOSE to be heterosexual?   It is who I am, and no amount of "persuasion" is going to change that.  We are who we are… and it’s the people who can’t seem to grasp this reality that underlie the need for a new curriculum.   Maybe, if we were able to broaden or eliminate the definition of “Normal” we could save a lot of very good people a lot pain and suffering.

3.       I've heard it said that we shouldn't allow the State to be in charge of something so personal and important as Sex Education.  I agree completely – that’s why I have never supported prayer in school.  If it is important to you, then pray with your children, don’t leave it to Mr. Weatherby to provide spiritual guidance to your children over the school P.A. system.   If you don’t like the Ontario Sex Education curriculum, then opt out and do a better job at home – that is an option. Take it.

   

However, there are great many parents who do not have the time, the skill or the inclination to take up this task responsibly, so someone’s got to do it – as a matter of public health, at least.

4.       I've heard it said that Grade Three is too young an age to hear about homosexuality.  Really?  

      "But my friend Timmy has two Dads and Rachel has two Moms… and I think that Johnny’s Mom used to be a Dad…  "  

      Should we simply tell them not to worry their pretty little heads over such puzzles until they’re older?  

      

      And never mind the kids who come from Cisgendered Heterosexual parents, what about the kids who come from the variety of family constructs that include same sex couples… should we keep them away from show and tell, force them to make Father’s Day Cards from their Moms and just keep them quiet until they’re old enough to understand the songs of Cole Porter?   I assume that most children, by the time they are in Grade Three, have been exposed to television and probably the internet.  So, they are seeing Tide commercials with gay couples, television shows and characters that present different expressions of family and sexuality, they are meeting transgendered people in the world around them and through media; they might even have a transgendered minister!  We are already trying to explain to little Tiffany why “Anaconda” is not a good choice for the grade three talent show and why Daddy thinks that “Blurred Lines” is a terrible song.  This new curriculum isn't trying to shape the world, it is trying to keep up and prepare our children to live in it happily and responsibly.

5.       This fall, the majority of university under-grad admissions, will have been born in 1997.   

      Think about that for a moment… 1997.   

      Remember, just the other day when Farrah Fawcett was drunk on David Lettermen?  

      Or when Lady Di, died??  

      That was 1997.    

      Since then, same sex marriage (better known as “Equal Marriage”) has become law in Ontario and later, Canada… some believe that was the end of the battle and everything is fine now for Gays and Lesbians… but reported violence against gay and lesbian teens is higher now than it was in 1997; on line bullying of those who might identify themselves as belonging to the LGBTQ community is a horrible phenomenon that we didn't imagine in the pre-FaceBook world.   We need a curriculum that addresses the reality and needs of 2015, not one that still dwells in the late 1990s, even if that does seem like “just yesterday”.

6.       In the past couple of years, whether it’s students of dentistry or frosh-hazing University Seniors, we have seen myriad examples of our education system failing to effectively teach respect for others and for ourselves; we have failed to empower people to say “No” confidently and for others to hear “No” as a viable answer to a proffered question, not a rejection of a them as a whole person.  We will only overcome a "Rape" culture, if we can nurture a "Consent" culture, this curriculum at least recognizes the terms.    

      This curriculum is not perfect; it will not fix all of our woes, but if it educates just one person to the reality that being a lesbian is not a “choice”;  that there is no secret cabal of Gay people pushing an agenda on our society… if it provides on child a moment of relief when he realizes that he is not a freak for feeling the way that he does… if it invites any of our diverse community into a better relationship with an “other”… if it helps to create an environment where we can be who we are and be in respectful, joyful relationships with others…if it keeps one kid from "sexting" a friend...  then it is an improvement over the existing program and I am glad to embrace it.

7.       Finally… it is true that I no longer have children in the system that will be affected by this new curriculum – but I do live in community and those children who are in school today ARE my children: They are and will be my neighbours, my leaders and my care-givers as I get older – so, I have an important investment.

Oh… and for those who think that we should be teaching Math not Masturbation to teens... trust me, they've already made the decision and no curriculum is going to change that. 

Not much of a team player....

21 Coptic Christians were apparently beheaded by ISIS.

This is horrific.

Please, make no mistake, I am offended and disgusted and devastated by these deaths and I am seething with anger at ISIS.   A great number of people that I know on Facebook and elsewhere have posted their outrage and anger.  Many of them have appealed to me directly because these are Coptic Christians who have been killed, as if I should be particularly offended because they are Christians.

Please, dear friends, do not take offence:  I don’t care that they are Christians.  I care that they are human beings who have been slaughtered.

For me, being a Christian isn't about being in a club or on a team.  It is the way that I have found God through Jesus Christ and recognized the sacredness of life and my responsibility to all of creation.  The Kingdom of God is NOT an option.

For me, recognizing Jesus as the Son of God, is not my way of saying that my God is better than yours or saying that my conduit to God is WAY more important than yours because he is the “SON” of God.   By calling Jesus the son of God, I recognize that God is immanent in the human experience, not distant; by calling Jesus the son of God, I attest to the fact that I don’t NEED any other revelation, it is complete for me.  By calling Jesus the Christ, I acknowledge that he is the one anointed to reveal God, to bring salvation to (at least) me.   I don’t need to deny your access or reference to God. 

So, I am outraged that 21 Coptic Christians have died at the hands if ISIS terrorists.  I am also outraged that Islamist Extremists have also target Hindus and Baha’i and Buddhists and Jews and Atheists.  I am outraged that Islamist Terrorists have killed MORE Muslims than any other single group... strangely many of us seem to be able to ignore the slaughter of those with whom we do NOT share a creed or tradition.   

Killing is people is wrong.  We all know that.  As a Christian, I know that and I’m given guidance and support as I try to honour that sacredness in others.  But please… don’t tell me that I should care more about certain people because we often share a creed… let me be outraged, angered, grieved and distraught because human beings have been senselessly murdered…. And let me be inspired and directed by my faith to make the world, not more “Christian”, but more compassionate and humane for everyone. 

End of my rant...  God bless those who have died and their families and communities. 

Heterodoxy, maybe even Heresy to start the New Year!

The church newsletter went out yesterday... much to my surprise, I have already received numerous requests for a copy of my "Notes from Norm"  Something seems to have hit a chord with my folks... and so, not just because I am too lazy to send copies to all who ask, but also because maybe there's somebody reading my blog for whom this might also strike a chord. 

or not. 

Also, I haven't blogged in over 6 weeks... and I really should have written something. 

So, as my way of multi-tasking, I offer this a response, inspiration and long over-due publication. (WOW, three things a once... if you include me hiding my head in shame for calling this multi-tasking, that's FOUR things at once. )

Without further delay:  

January 4^th, 2015.  It was the first Sunday of a New Year.  I was still recovering from my Man-Flu (formerly Man Cold) as well as the joy and efforts of Christmas at Jubilee and in the Seli family, which involved several extra services, events and a Christmas Dinner that would be the first meal cooked in my son’s new house and would gather my children, parents, sister, niece and nephew, father-in-law and two brother-in-law… as well as my son’s girlfriend who arrived from India three days before.  Did I mention that this was our first time meeting her? Did I mention the Man-Flu?    I mention all of these details perhaps as an excuse… either for what had already happened or what was about to happen. 

I arrived at Jubilee, eager, if not rested, to begin a New Year.  Our first New Year with Music Director Daniel, Drama Wonder Jennine and our ever exuberant intern Étienne.  I was looking forward to singing more Christmas Carols (after all the season extends beyond the day) and celebrating Communion.  There is something special about Communion on the first Sunday of a New Year.  For me, it is a balm to my soul and nerves that have been stretched over Christmas; it is a quiet moment when I sit at table with God and all of Creation and see  holy in the simple and mundane.  It is a moment for recognizing and embracing God’s presence and committing to carrying it with me through the year as it unfolds.

Well… I would love to show you a picture of the beautiful Communion set up that greeted me at 10:15 as I darted into the sanctuary to grab check something with Daniel before the service.

Somehow, in the joy and stress of Christmas time, I had not communicated my dedication to New Year’s Communion… I had not passed on my passion for the Sacrament… I had not requested or checked that Communion be set up for Sunday.  

There was nothing there.

I ran to the kitchen… nothing was being prepared.  I checked the Craft Room where Communion Supplies are stored… nothing was happening.  I checked again and discovered that we had NO bread… NO Grape Juice… and NObody to fix it.

I hung my head, decided to blame my Man-Flu and went back to my office.  I gathered Jennine and Étienne, told them the news and decreed that we would have Communion next week and simply skip over the Communion Prayers in the Order of Service.

It was Jennine who blurted, “Aw c’mon, we can do it!”

“We don’t have any bread” I explained.

“I have some Christmas Cake” said Jennine as she proferred a lovely Christstollen that Pat had given her for Christmas.  I looked at it… it was bread.  And dried fruit, marzipan and powdered sugar.. but I don’t what kind of bread Jesus had at the Last Supper, do you??

Étienne’s enthusiasm was instant (no shock) and Jennine set about to cut up the Christstollen while I found some Fruit Drink, broken cookies (in case we ran out of Christstollen)… prepared one tray of Fruit Drink in tiny cups, and unceremoniously put the proceeds of our efforts on the Communion Table along with our usual Cup and Plate.

As the service proceeded, I adapted the prayers and change the focus of the service so that we might recognize the order that God brings out of chaos; the hope when everything seems to be falling apart; the promise that God continues to act in the world and in our less than perfect lives.   It seemed to connect.

Of course, I would never want my Seminary, nor the folks that ordained me to see what transpired that cold January morning.  There was no elegance to the table, we did not have the “proper” elements for celebrating Communion – recalling that Jesus broke the bread and declared “This is my body broken for you” I snapped a chocolate chip cookie in twain and hoped that no one would laugh. As people received the “body” of Christ, Étienne reminded them that “Jesus is sweet”.   The Fruit Drink was ridiculously sweet and very, very bright.  As we had no extra servers, Jennine, Étienne and I served everybody as they came down in one line down the centre aisle, necessitating a fair bit of weaving, cutting around behind and in front and much less efficiency than our usual practice.  And some kids tried for seconds (some succeeded).

Not dignified.

Not orderly.

Probably not really official.

And yet… having only one tray of small cups, I watched many people choose to dip in the large cup, even if they would normally have taken a small cup, because they wanted to make sure that would be enough for everybody  (we had one small cup left after everybody had been served) – simple kindness.  I saw people being patient with each other as soft collisions necessarily took place.  I got engaged in discussion during coffee about whether what we had just done was Orthodox, Heterodox or Heresy… and I heard many people talking about the experience.  How often do we stop to talk about Communion??

But more than that, I felt the presence of God in our sanctuary that morning.  As badly as we did it; as heretical as our practice may have been… it was holy.

As we did our best; made do with what we had available, God was present to make up the difference.  What a great way to start the New Year!

It has struck me since that this is something that happens at Jubilee quite often: We take what we have, we put it out in our imperfect way to the community

               and God is present. 

At Community Table.

At Ulterior Worship

At Labyrinth Walks

At Bible Study

At Living the Questions Discussions

At Youth and Children’s programs

At Baptism and Communion.

As collect food and clothing for our brothers and sisters in need.

As we try to support our friends at Eva’s Place and the Massey Centre

As we try to welcome the stranger who comes through our doors for the first time.

In all that we do… God is present.

I would invite you to be similarly inspired and recognize that even though you don’t know what to do from time to time; even though you may not be perfect… you have the promise that God is present and will make up the difference.

Don’t know what to say to a friend who has lost a loved one?  You don’t have to an expert, offer what you have with sincerity… say the wrong thing if you must…but know that it doesn’t rest on you alone, like our January Communion, God will make up the difference.

Have a thought about God or a question about Jesus but don’t know how to phrase it? Don’t want to sound foolish or be wrong?  Remember the January Communion, say what you’re thinking and feeling, you don’t have to be a graduate theologian (nobody likes them anyway)  - dare to speak and let God make up the difference.

Afraid to take on a project or a task in the community, at work, at Jubilee?  You don’t have to be an Engineer or an experienced planner… offer your imperfect Christstollen and remember our January Communion and expect people to collide gently, respond politely and engage in the imperfection with love… and trust God to make up the difference.

What started out as a disaster and then became a great risk, proved to be a highlight of a New Year and a wonderful reminder of what happens when we do the best with what we have and trust in God to make up the difference…. Not just a Jubilee, but in life, as well.

Norm.

No doubt, there will be typos and errors of grammar in this - 

but I am trusting in you to overlook them… and God to make up the difference.