So, I haven’t been blogging much over the summer… somewhat
busy.
Riding my bike.
Sitting in the backyard.
Doing Nothing.
Writing old J.D. Salinger novels.
But before it’s all over, I realize that a number of things
went by without my comment this summer and I really think that I should weigh
in while we some of us can still remember what I’m talking about.
1.
The Wolverine.
Wow. Just wanted to say that.
2.
Ben
Affleck as Batman. It’s a movie… relax. Also, everybody hated the casting of an
unknown Hugh Jackman as Wolverine 13 years ago…. Hugh Jackman as Peter Allen in the Boy from Oz….
Hugh Jackman as Jean Valjean ( well, maybe that one…). What about Denise Richards as a Rocket
Scientist in The World is Not Enough ? Relax
about Ben, he’ll probably be wicked awesome.
3.
Rob Ford getting drunk at Taste of the
Danforth. As he and his brother pointed
out, Rob is a private citizen who should be allowed to have a few beers at an
event where everybody is having a few beers.
He wasn’t being the “Mayor”, he was just being Rob. So, why was his staff running around
looking for him and getting concerned that he wasn’t where they were supposed
to meet? Doesn’t bringing along City
Hall staff change Rob in “The Mayor”??
(soon to be played in a major motion picture by Ben Affleck)
4.
Food Poisoning at the EX. Wow! Didn’t see that coming. The CNE has always seemed so clean and
sanitary… Surprised that they cancelled the Midway Surgery demonstration. If I believed in a Coercive Interventionist
God, I would suggest that God poisoned 130 people to save the rest of us. But I don’t… and I’m not.
5.
Blurred Lines – Robin Thicke’s song of the
summer! I think that it’s kinda “rape-y”
and the lines are NOT really that blurred. I’ve managed to get through my whole 51 years
without once wondering if I might be raping somebody… and I’m no genius. It’s like the poster says: If you want to have sex with somebody, set them
free… if they come back, they probably want to, too. If not… they never did. (I think that's the wording... I mostly remember the butterfly)
6.
The Senate.
To be clear, neither Mike Duffy nor Pamela Wallin have ever lived at my
house – no matter their expenses may say.
As for reform? Pay should be
based on performance. Days you show up
to work, are days you get paid.
Otherwise, forget it. AND you
have to wear a uniform like they do a McDonalds, so that we can see them coming…
and they can be reminded that they are in the “Service” industry.
7.
Syria.
There is something wrong with the world with Vladimir Putin sounds like
the sanest guy in the room. I clearly
don’t know enough.
8.
Miley Cyrus.
Miley Cyrus. Oh my…. First, not a fan of the song "We Can't Stop" don’t
particularly like Robin Thicke or Blurred lines either. I've never Twerked (well, okay once, but it was totally in context... at church) Not crazy about “nude” bikinis – on Miley,
anyway.. (Which is good because it would
be kinda creepy if I did). She also sang flat - I mean, really flat. The kind of flat that is not good. As for the rest of the performance, I did find
something racially off-putting about it all.
I’m not talking about simple cultural appropriation… I mean, I play Jazz
and nobody comes up and tells me that I shouldn't because it’s not my culture. However, when I do play, I don’t dress like
Miles Davis and surround myself by exclusively black musicians and slap their
asses. Something seemed very off for me…
but I also remember the Police being accused of ruining Reggae by stealing from
Jamaican musicians and whitening it up… I remember the bad press around Paul Simon’s Graceland album… So, I guess that I'm not really sure what to think - I just found it off putting. But Art is often meant to be off-putting. And Artists put themselves out there to be criticized, so.... I will note that I’m
not sure what we would be saying if Miley were a 35 year old man (like Sting, Simon, et. al. back in the day).
But, let’s let her be a 20 year old girl
for the moment. Last week, I was
looking through an old High School yearbook (as I like to do every Friday... tearfully). I was reading my Graduating Year Book and a page
fell out. It was a page that I had cut
out of the book back in grade 13, but a page that I didn't want to lose… a page that I didn’t want to share with anyone.... a page that
had been signed by a girl. On my expurgated page this girl of 18 or 19
(almost Miley’s age) wrote the dirtiest, most flirtatious 4 paragraphs of
purple prose I have ever read. It spoke
of things beyond both our kens; promised things that would never be delivered…
and had it been published would have
outsold “50 Shades of Grey” (a fair comparison because, let’s
be honest, there are only about 4 paragraphs of real writing in the whole
book). With the wisdom that age and experience
brings, I recognize that my “friend” was experimenting with her new-found
sexuality. She was discovering herself
as a sexual and sexualized being… she was wondering out loud (or in print) about what
gave her pleasure and joy; she was discovering the currency of her attentions…
she was trying some crazy ideas out on the page. If it were possible to sit down with her
today and read that passage, I imagine that we would both blush, laugh
awkwardly and move on…
I would recommend the same thing for Miley’s
performance.
I would also note that neither Miley Cyrus
or Robin Thicke are individuals – they are corporations. Lots of people advise and take part in
decision making… and I’m pretty sure that MTV didn't say to either of them, “Here’s
the stage for 10 minutes… just do what you want”. There are lots of anonymous faces who were
part of the fiasco that dominated Youtube and Twitter for the better part of a
week…. Funny, how we don’t heap our scorn upon them. Oh, and wait for it, Miley and Justin Bieber will soon be releasing a new song about "Twerking"... so, we can look forward to more (this time with Added Bieber!!)
That’s enough of that… thanks for letting me
get all of that off my chest. My wife
thanks you as well, because she will no longer have to listen me pontificate and drone
on about these subjects as we shop for groceries.
( btw, great name for a law
firm:
Pontificate and Drone, Attorneys at Law)
